this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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Science Memes

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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not having to worry about gender/sexuality (except asexuality I guess) in your dating pool and still failing

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not all asexuals are sex repulsed, it just means not being sexually attracted to others either all the time or some of the time (unless preconditions are met in the case of demisexuals or grey-asexuals). Us ace-spec people can and do have sex if we aren't always repulsed, just not always for attraction reasons.

Hope this makes sense and helps!

[–] SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

can’t just go and tell me I need to relearn words again!

/s thanks for the info!! Though it makes me sort of think that anyone who isn’t asexual are essentially all “sluts” by this definition (sexually attracted to everyone around them above some personally maintained arbitrary threshold of determining attractiveness??) but I will continue to try and care both more and less about the specificities of the terms and just continue to try to take pleasure in the fact that me knowing them (or trying to have learned them at least) might provide some sense of inclusion to someone down the road [that has experienced their sexual awakening in one of the myriad of different ways possible, rather than a way in which I somehow am already familiar with which in reality seems considerably unlikely for how young/antisocial I am, or have generally been, throughout my life so far], or possibly someday help me better explain my own feelings or experiences to someone else later on, who might also know about such nuances of sexual orientation, or have had similar experiences/feelings in their life but were lacking specific words for them

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

sexually attracted to everyone around them above some personally maintained arbitrary threshold of determining attractiveness??

From what we understand allosexuals (people who are not ace-spec) are not in fact attracted to everyone :). Maybe many people, but not all the people and not always.

However, even if they were that's not a bad thing, as long as it's consensual and respectful :)

[–] SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

thank you for teaching me what I was just wondering about for the second time, after coming to the crisp realization that all I needed was the alternative category(-ies) which could be expected to then also exist other than the asexual branch of methodology/pathology (idk if I am using words correctly here either, lolol number man no use good speak much here). I was about to venture a guess that certainly slurs were not the correct categorization, and that perhaps “sexual” was the other categorization, however I expected that that was unlikely because it also sounds strange as a noun to me

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sure, we are happy to help :)

[–] SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

allo-sexual sounds a bit like being attracted to curious french greetings to me lolol I think that this will help me remember the concept. I feel like people attracted to those with foreign accents might even fit such a category in some cases unless I am misunderstanding the concept completely still which seems very plausible to me also since I haven’t even looked up any info on the term yet

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Allonormativity is a concept I now know to look out for. Time to add it to my growing list of normativities to dismantle, avoid, address, etc.

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago

Glad we could help!

[–] SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

https://www.asexuality.org/?q=attitudes.html this array of possible dispositions (in the Combinations of Attitudes section of that page) towards the general ideas of inclusion/openness also seems like a somewhat useful way of considering more possible manifestations of varying attitudes towards such matters

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Oh yes, absolutely. We were aware of AVEN since we are ace-spec but not this page specifically. Thanks so much for sharing!