this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Dull Men's Club

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I shat out a nearly perfect turd. It's a thing of beauty.

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[–] MigratingApe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago (3 children)

It’s going to be over 9 years since I have been eating only this for a breakfast, daily: Muesli mixed from a few different brands so it contains a perfect to my taste blend of dried fruits, nuts, seeds, cereals/grains and cocoa or chocolate , a fruit like banana, apple, grapes, plums, seasonal or whatever I crave for the moment, and Greek yoghurt.

Proportions: 200g yoghurt, one banana, 5-6 tablespoons of muesli mix. Drink a glass of water.

It helped with regulating hardness of the turd and bowel movement frequency. Useful for people spending majority of their lives on their asses before a computer screen and suffering from hemorrhoids as a result.

Adjust the recipe to your own bowels.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Lentil soup will also fix the situation. Plus you can get lentils with 30% protein.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You mix your own muesli? When I’ve tried both that and granola, I find them way too sweet. Too much added sugar. The hazards of living in the us, I suppose. But I’ve never tried mixing them myself.

My breakfast

  • 8oz low-fat plain yogurt
  • banana
  • top off the bowl with Cheerios or similar

Regular as a clock

[–] MigratingApe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh I hate granola, for some reason this is what major stores prefer… You can either buy plain cereal flakes of various types (oats, wheat etc) mixed together or this forsaken granola, bleh.

I go for something similar to Male Muesli or Protein Muesli from https://onedaymore.net/ , obviously they charge premium price for the convenience of this being premixed by them, so why not reverse engineer and DIY it? :)

Currently I am mixing bags of muesli from different brands to get what I want, but where I live I might as well buy every ingredient separately and mix it that way.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Now you have me interested … I have to try this

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Wait what, sitting in front of a PC gives you hemorrhoids?

[–] MigratingApe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

Not sitting alone, but is one of the strongest factors. Like a hard turds, damaging and pushing your already swollen from sitting veins as you push out the turd, also a factor. Add these and others together etc etc . https://scienceinsights.org/can-sitting-too-long-cause-hemorrhoids/

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 4 points 2 days ago

Also sitting for long periods in front of anything.