this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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Mental Health
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The other person going to therapy and working through their own trauma instead of using it as a reason to be helpless
If you're with someone who is truly using it as an excuse and not trying to improve, sure I guess.
But it's pretty shitty as a partner if you aren't even willing to try and put in a modicum of effort to work with your partner as well.
It's not your job to "fix" your partner, but if you don't want to be there with them and walk beside them as they sort out their shit, why are you with them? Long term relationships aren't just the fun and happy stuff.
I like the comment up top, they said they knock on the wall so they dont jumpscare their partner. I like that. It's stuff like that makes a difference. I have C-Ptsd, go to therapy weekly (for years) but I'll forever be jumpy and scare easily. My part is not getting upset when it happens, my partner's part is doing stuff like that, knocking or speaking when entering a room, ie, when I'm doing the dishes its really easy to sneak up on me, so my partner makes an effort to try and not sneak up on me when I'm task focused.
Its also stuff like not getting mad when I say, "hey I know this might be irrational, but you're not mad at me right now?". Some people that pisses off, but just offering a quick reassurance goes miles.