this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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Mental Health
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It's a self-fulfilling prophecy too. Accuse someone of being angry with you and don't take no for an answer until you ruined the mood completely.
I don't like needing a ready excuse for not smiling and being attentive all the time. I also don't want to be consoled. I just want to be quiet for a while.
If you're getting this from a partner, just say that please. I'll take "just want to be quiet for a while", "don't want to talk about it", "I'll get over it, not worth worrying about", etc.
I can't take "it's nothing" when (at least to my messed up ass) there's clearly something.
"I am stressed, but I don't feel like discussing it. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you," would be a good, comprehensive answer that doesn't dig too deep. It acknowledges the truth and validates the other person's sense that you are stressed, it states your desires of what to do about it, and it helps assuage a partner's nervous feeling that they/something did may be the thing that's stressing you.
I can't stand when someone says, "It's nothing" when there's clearly something wrong. It's a type of gaslighting, and makes me struggle to put together their words with my sense that something is wrong. There's nothing wrong in wanting not to talk about something stressful, but that's not an excuse for dishonesty. If a partner can't handle that, they're not ready for an adult relationship.
This touches upon another fun bit of the trauma I think.
At least for me, growing up I got in a lot of trouble for taking certain tones with my parents that I wasn't aware I was projecting. In retrospect, at least some of that was only the adult justifying their anger. (Unrelated to abusive childhood, I also have an ex that just directly gaslit me as intentional manipulation, not as some sort of anger management issue)
So I have some trauma about whether or not I can trust my own interpretation of events. I know I don't have an amazing memory, and I can misread situations.
Which makes it that much harder when I am in fact certain about something.