Whats_your_reasoning

Oh man, I feel this. The decision to express himself in the way that feels best (even if it isn't through words), the grown-up making a misinterpretation of it, the inadvertent embarrassment on the kid for having been misunderstood... the author could be my kin.

Yeah, the "church" thing was just placing the setting, which sounds like it could be a real event from the author's life - not much they can do about where it happened. The story and the punchline have nothing to do with religion, so it's an odd thing to latch onto.

I got this

I'd like to take a second to remind all my fellow women that if you have an opinion about the choices a woman has made about how she looks, you should remember that internalized misogyny is a hell of a drug, so if we're not going to lift each other up it's better to stop being an ass to her and let her be.

Glad I'm not the only one. Sometimes I remind myself, "Just because it's online doesn't mean I'm not reading."

As someone with a partner who has ...

Mm, so you don't personally know what the experience is like. I have a partner with chronic pain, and though I can see what she does to handle it and get by, that doesn't mean I know what it's like. If I were to tell people with chronic pain, "Oh, it's manageable, I know someone with it and I see them get along fine, so you must not be trying hard enough," it would sound awfully insensitive, wouldn't it?

That might sound like a far-fetched comparison, but if you understood what experiencing executive dysfunction felt like, you'd know just how disabling it can be. Good on your partner, I'm glad they've found a solution/system/medication that works for them. But ADHD is a spectrum just as autism is. Even though I'm AuDHD, I know the things that help me aren't necessarily things that others would benefit from, because these conditions are highly individualized. To know one individual with one of these conditions and assume everyone else must be the same is beyond unhelpful, verging into offensive.

Username checks out. I find that better situational control has come with age, for me. I sure can put on the charm and be sociable, but it's contextual. I can function well at work, as I've developed a "work persona" that helps keep me on the level, but once I'm clocked out it's a different ballgame. I have to conserve my effort for the times I most need to focus, and doing the thing that brings me income, well, that's a top priority. I spend a lot of "time off" alone recharging.

If you're being a slob

Although I don't expect you're intending to carry on ableist rhetoric, the implication that someone with ADHD is a "slob" implies a misunderstanding of why we do what we do. What someone else might call "disorganized" could actually be organized in a way that facilitates our daily lives. Sure, I could keep my medicines in a cabinet, but when I see them on my nightstand I am far more likely to remember to take them. Sure, I could put away all my art supplies when I take a break from a project for the day, but then I'll lose track of what I was working on. Every time I "tidy up" I end up spending a significant amount of time trying to get back into my normal rhythm afterwards.

People will use words like "slob" even though there's no trash lying around, I keep the floor swept, I wash my dishes immediately, etc., all because surfaces are covered in items that I actually use. My private space is for living in, and it reflects that. If someone else doesn't like it, well, that sucks for them, but to imply that we're "slobs" for finding ways to make our daily lives run smoothly is an unfair characterization.

I might try to get a couch with my next paycheck. This is all really good to know, thank you. I'm saving your comment for reference when shopping.

For being a science meme community, it's a place people can vent about things that they can't vent about elsewhere. We can understand psychological phenomena, but still be personally frustrated by it.

Though I do wish this post weren't targeted toward Boomers. Younger people buy into this type of thing, too.

It's a good idea, but it probably works better for some people than for others. I get sick of the same meal too many times in a row. My ex used to prep meals for a week and get tired of whatever he made by the 3rd day. It's like we reach a satiation point, and there's only so much room in the freezer/fridge to keep a variety of pre-cooked meals on hand.

I get that's somewhat of a privileged problem to have, as I have subsisted on beans and rice for quite a while before. But if I can't afford a trip or a house or really much in the way of luxuries at all, damn it, I'm going to at least eat something I enjoy.

I just want to say, as someone who lives near such a bell, I'm grateful that they appear to observe "quiet hours" between 8pm and 8am. When I first moved in, I was worried it'd be dinging all night. Thank goodness that's not the case.

I just have car alarms going off for no reason at 4am to worry about.

It's wild to think that, "It's a quarter to 8," must be a mental exercise for some people. That is, instead of having an immediate understanding from being able to glance at an analog clock and think, "That's clearly 1/4 of an hour," it instead relies on a cognitive exercise that requires a knowledge of division and subtraction (60 divided by 4, then subtract the result from 60.)

Though I tend to think of time spatially, in part due to being raised with analog clocks. They're much easier for me to read and understand at a glance without having to process much. Reading a digital clock requires converting it to analog in my mind, because the spatial appearance of the hands is what my brain makes sense of. I sometimes hear from people who can't do that though, who instead have to convert the analog to digital in their minds. Which is fine, it just sounds much more "mathy" to me and like it takes more work than making sense of shapes. But to each their own.