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I've not heard of 'sanewashing' before. That's an interesting one. It may be 'gaslighting', but I'm not sure. A fictional example of what I'm talking about would be the guy who dates a woman to get closer to her sister. Or Homer Simpson buying a bowling ball for Marge Simpson's birthday and saying 'Well, if you don't want it, I know someone who could really, really use it....' :D
I'd say those are both shady behaviors belying ulterior motives.
Both of those terms are accurate to what I'm describing. It's like racist neighbors finding everything wrong with the upkeep of your house or how much noise your kids are making just to cover up the fact that they don't want to live next to someone of color.
Manipulation
I'd say that second one is nearing a sunk cost fallacy making it akin to cognitive dissonance. That's the term usually described in addiction and certain splurge purchases, meaning that your brain will try to reason around anything against a certain idea.
Example: I shouldn't have another drink because I still need to drive and I have got a pretty busy day tomorrow. Then again, I could always take the bus home and call in sick tomorrow. I deserve another drink because I worked hard today.
Justifying. Basically you already have a behaviour in mind, but you need an excuse to execute on that behaviour.
It can also be retroactive. You can create an excuse for your behaviour after you've already done something -- retroactive justification.