this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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What to do with 4yo when we put down the cat? (fedia.io)
submitted 3 weeks ago by Maestro@fedia.io to c/parenting@lemmy.world
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I have a 14 year old Maine Coon that is terminally ill and has a few weeks at best. Our son recently turned 4 years old and loves animals. We taught him to be kind to all animals, even bugs. He is not particularly attached to the cat, but he likes it well enough (the cat is not a cuddler).

In a few weeks we'll have to go to the vet and have the cat put down. We're wondering how we should approach this with our son. Do we take him with us? Do we let him be present when the cat is put to sleep? Or make him stay in the waiting area? Or do we go when he's in school? What's appropriate for a 4 year old?

On the one hand I think that death is a part of life. And I don't mind that he sees us crying over the cat. But I also don't want to traumatize him or make it bigger than it is.

Any tips?

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[–] RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago

Talk to him about it, let him say bye, but don't bring him. I was 10 and my brother was 6 when our dog was euthanized. I was brought along but left in the car, and my brother found out when he came home from our grandparents'. I wouldn't say either of us are traumatized. Just very sad, for a few weeks.