Parenting

Brief summary of context. I socially transitioned before he was conceived. His birth mother left me before he was born. I spent 18 months fighting to even meet him. Eventually had things going smoothly with overnight time. Then the birth mother cut contact again. I've only just got to see him in a supervised context.

Near the end of the last session I referred to myself as mummy Eve, as I've done thousands of times in the past without issue. This time he yells that he hates it when I say that. He goes on to say I'm just pretending, I'm not a mummy I'm a he, and he knows I'm a he because I'm wearing a top.

I'm certain he's getting this from his birth mum. I'm devastated, it pushed me closer to giving up than I have been for a while. I don't know if there's anything I can do about it in the two hours a week I have with him. (At least for now)

I'm constantly amazed that scouts isn't more popular with families. I'm a huge supporter of the whole worldwide program (particularly Scouting America and the Girl Scouts in the US).

Yes, let's all acknowledge that there were past abuses that the Boy Scouts ignored and covered up. But, primarily due to the lawsuits associated with those abuses, Scouting America has instituted a lot of really strong child protection policies that arguably make it the safest youth program anywhere.

It's a really great, comparatively cheap, program that offers amazing opportunities to kids and families.

If you find yourself having trouble making friends as an adult, I really recommend looking into it.

My wife let me sleep in today since work last week kicked my ass and i've been staying up late and getting up early to keep up with everything.

I woke up to a bunch of yelling and my soaking wet 4 year old jumping into bed crying. Turns out my wife was bathing the boys (4,1) and the little one was done, so she decided to let our toddler stay in by himself for a little bit. She said she told him to pull the shower plug and he said he would. We recently moved and don't have a bathtub at the new house so he likes to fill up the shower until right before it flows over which i hate but my wife lets him do. It get the floors soaked and the trim all around the shower is rotting and growing mold. I've asked them both so many times to stop, and explained to my son that I'm working on getting a tub put in but it'll take time.

Well it turns out he did not pull the shower plug, and 10 minutes later my wife went in there to get him and he was trying to dry the flooded bathroom floor with toilet paper. He immediately knew he fucked up so he ran to me because I'm his safe space no matter what, always. I've never yelled at him in an aggressive tone, I've never hit or spanked him, when he's in trouble i talk him through it in a calm tone, even if i had to put on my stern voice.

I was not a space space today. My wife called me downstairs in a hurry and the water from the bathroom was coming through the dining room ceiling out of the hole cut for the chandelier light. I know the run of wires there is knob and tube and there was either smoke or steam from the water hitting the bulbs.

From there i lost it, i couldn't even look at my son for half the day. Even when i wasn't doing anything and he asked me to play i told him no, when he kept asking i yelled back something about being in no mood and for him to stop asking. I snapped at my wife pretty bad, i told her they have no respect for the house and id been telling them to be more careful for months. I went in on her for leaving our toddler alone in the shower for so long and how she didn't take the plug herself. I said something about them ruining our house, which i do think they need to do less reckless stuff in the house and have been trying to think of a nice way to frame in a conversation, instead it came out in a fit of rage.

I ended up having a heart fit and chest pain and i yelled at them both to leave me alone. As I'm clutching my chest falling to the floor, my toddler just wanted to help me because its happened before and we talked to him about what to do, and he was doing exactly what we told him, but i told him to leave.

I feel like i really fucked up today as a father and a partner. It was a very stressful situation, and i think my frustration was justified, but i cant stand how it came out and how i handled everything today.

I feel like i spent the whole day hating my family whom i love very much.

Figured I'd toss up a quick whine thread.

Daughter skipped her nap and is peak obstinant today. Having to "trick" her into following the schedule.

"I don't want bath! I want read book!"

We'll read some books in bed after your bath sweetie.

"Noooooooo!"

Well I'm gonna get a bath, see you later.

"No! No I want baaaaath!"

Just max threenager today.

Intro:

Sam Pratt was around 13 when he first saw people talking about "looksmaxxing" on YouTube.

The philosophy behind it seemed "pretty logical," said Pratt, now 17 and attending high school in Constance Bay, Ont., a suburb of Ottawa.

"Attractive people are treated better in society," he said. The idea is "just taking care of yourself and improving your looks as much as possible to gain a social advantage."

Looksmaxxing is an online subculture based around the idea that, in order to be successful in romantic partnership and life in general, boys and men should work actively to improve their appearance.

On the more moderate side of things, "softmaxxing" looks like normal self-care efforts — getting a decent haircut, treating acne, eating better and working out.

But on the extreme, some "hardmaxxers" inject peptides and steroids, get plastic surgery or engage in "bone smashing" — hitting themselves in the face with knuckles or even hammers in the hope microfractures will heal over to create more well-defined bones.

Our three-year-old didn’t recognize his longtime teacher — and barely seemed to miss me after three weeks away.

cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/41351205

Well made videos for youth discussing online and other personal safety.

Is it wrong to love your children only because they’re the children of someone you love? For example, if you had kids with an ex-wife you didn’t love as much, and you feel like you wouldn’t love those children the same way because you don’t love your ex—would that be wrong?

I got this dlc for my kids recently. It teaches them about online grooming and the red flags they need to watch out for when playing games online. Minecraft has other free Internet safety dlc for kids, too, but as someone who experienced online grooming as a little kid in the early days of forums and instant messaging, this really caught my attention.

Here's a video of it, too.

Do folks have recommendations for kids movies, shows, or books that focus on characters friendships?

Recently I picked up the book “the princess bride.” My kid noticed and said she recognized the title. And saw the movie. But she didn’t like it because there was too much fighting. I asked for an example of a good movie. “K-pop demon hunter” was the answer. Because Friendship.

Someone got visited by the good idea fairy and now I have a hilarious opportunity here. Its a mixed gender, 3-6 year old team, I get two words, 3 colors, and a logo. What's the funniest thing I could do for my kiddo? We vote on the name in a couple days but I want to come loaded with 3 or 4 options.

Edit: sad news y'all, the name was picked without consulting the other coaches. We're gonna be Sea Serpents this year. Thanks to everyone for replying, it was a fun exercise nonetheless.

Hello everyone 👋

I’m a new parent and trying to be more Focused to helping my toddler learn everyday skills — things like talking, understanding emotions, routines, colors.

There’s is so many things available online, although those are not looking practical so I wanted to ask real parents here:

Please share me your experience with me also for make it simple for me as well. How can I tech to my toddler that works for me? Which routine or activities I follow specific? I am not looking for perfection, just practical experience of the everyone that help is our toddler learn and grow. Thanks so much! 😊

As kids grow into teen-hood and beyond, I feel like our job as parents is to move from protecting them from harm, to helping them build self-confidence and a positive self-image. Essentially to become boosters.

There's a balance between being protective and pushing them to take chances. What do you think?

My 5.5yo daughter is very shy, so I've been pushing her into hobbies to help managing her shyness. I've talked about how being shy is fine, but it's something to work on, otherwise she'll have a really hard time making friends. I'm shy and told her about that.

I took her to a gymnastics class (we do gymnastics together at open gym), but she refused to join the class. I said if she does one activity (even just a game at the end), I'll get her ice cream. We spent the time sitting on the side.

She didn't do it, so I figure no ice cream then. She's pretty mad. I'm not mad with her, but just of the opinion that we had a deal, and if she wants the reward, she needs to earn it.

Too harsh? Too soft? Alternatives?

EDIT:

So I took a two prong approach. 1. hard rule for no screaming at me or arguing. 2. we can just sit and watch, but if she joins, we leave after 1 exercise, each time slowly staying longer. She seems to feel safe when she's in control of when she leaves, which makes sense. Seems to be working. She expressed that she was surprised the kids and teacher were nice to her and loved it more than her art class.

I'm not 100% sure why she's so afraid of other kids. Maybe something happened at school I don't know about, but she's way less anxious about the class now.

I finally started to listen to "Sold a Story", then in a panic reviewed how my school system is teaching children to read.

While listening to episode 2, "The Idea", I learned that many students were taught how to read with the skills that are certain to make them poor readers. (This made me reflect on the recent news that a great many Americans don't read at the 6th grade level.)

I hope that you all check what your school district is doing, and like me find that the school district is following a good plan. (Minnesota requires the reading plans for school districts to be made public. I read the plan, and then I ran it through Gemini to check against "sold a story" as this is not my area of expertise.)

As an aside many reading program have suspiciously terrible names, like "Read Naturally". While the google I use found the main site quickly, criticisms of that program are harder to locate. (There are many criticisms of other programs that use the phrase "read naturally".)

Does anyone here have any firsthand experience of the pros & cons of home schooling? Whether as a parent, child or friend/family member/neighbour?

Self portrait made by a 5 yr old and we are all the person in red on this blessed day.

Hidden Brain podcast

Episode title: Parents: Keep Out!

Publish date: 24/11/2025, 20:00:00

Podcast length: 01:23:04

If you’re a parent or a teacher, you’ve probably wondered how to balance play and safety for the kids in your care. You don’t want to put children in danger, but you also don’t want to rob them of the joy of exploration. This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with psychologist Peter Gray. ...

People seem to like it (German): https://chaos.social/@markusseifert/115837668962928429