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What to do with 4yo when we put down the cat? (fedia.io)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Maestro@fedia.io to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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I have a 14 year old Maine Coon that is terminally ill and has a few weeks at best. Our son recently turned 4 years old and loves animals. We taught him to be kind to all animals, even bugs. He is not particularly attached to the cat, but he likes it well enough (the cat is not a cuddler).

In a few weeks we'll have to go to the vet and have the cat put down. We're wondering how we should approach this with our son. Do we take him with us? Do we let him be present when the cat is put to sleep? Or make him stay in the waiting area? Or do we go when he's in school? What's appropriate for a 4 year old?

On the one hand I think that death is a part of life. And I don't mind that he sees us crying over the cat. But I also don't want to traumatize him or make it bigger than it is.

Any tips?

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[–] Nefara@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

We just went through this too. I was honest and told him kitty was old and hurting, and that he was going to die and we were going to miss him. I told him to pet him and snuggle him and to say goodbye because he would be gone soon, and we wouldn't see him again. I told him about death being the end of a life but I don't think it entirely sank in. Kiddo asked a few times afterwards where the kitty was, and I reminded him that he died. I got an "oh" and sometimes "I miss [kitty]", to which I respond with "me too" and sharing a happy memory. Definitely explain what is happening.

On another note, there are services which will come to your house for pet euthanasia. It makes it a much more peaceful experience for the pet, because they are comfortable and relaxed. I highly recommend looking for a local service like that, search "at home pet euthanasia" for your area.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 3 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks, that's the first I ever heared about at home euthanasia. I'll have a look!