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”en jaksa mutta jatkan / tämän yhden mäen vielä / sateen jälkeen täältä näkee kauas”
Vorna - Kauas
Don’t know exactly why, but this has always got to me, hits some spot nothing else prior ever had, and nothing else still has not since.
Translated to English, it’s something like:
“I have no will or energy, but I shall climb / this one last hill / after the rain you can see so far from here”
It doesn’t translate well, but something about it really resonates with me. I’ve lived with clinic depression for so long, and I’ve been so close to giving in, but always just choosing to climb that one last hill gives some perspective and after all these years… here I am.
I’m too tired to continue, but I’ll fight this one more fight before I fall to my eternal slumber. And after the fight, as the dust settles, the rains stop… well, the view is beautiful. The world is beautiful. But I’m tired… too tired to go on. So I shall only fight this one more fight before I get my peace. One last glance at the beauty. Ah, one more fight, but no more, and I’ll return back up this hill and this view shall be my last. But it’s so beautiful. Only one more fight, and… And so on and so on.
It just feels like I belong in those words.