Yeah basically. Like yeah generalizations are bad, like you say. But when we play the "not all straights" or "not all men" game, we are detracting from very real and very harmful issues facing a community. There is a reason women overwhelmingly pick the bear over the man in the hypothetical, and a man saying "not all men" does nothing to make that women want to pick him over the bear. Honestly, it often times would probably make the woman even more likely to pick the bear. Cause what you are doing is effectively making the topic about you, and you are telling the person "your generalization is more important to me than the problem you are talking about." And because the people talking about the problem are marginalized (by definition, people without an influential voice), it only further covers up the message. As a white, straight-passing, and cis-passing man, yeah of course it hurts when I feel like someone is lumping me in as the problem. But I know its not my fault, and that its not really attacking me. And I know this because I try my damnedest to be an accomplice, not just an ally.* Basically, be the reason why they dont feel the need to generalize anymore, show dont tell.

*There is a very good zine called "Accomplices Not Allies: Abolishing the Ally Industrial Complex" written by Indigenous Action that I highly recommend. There is also another zine called "Queers Read This" that I also highly recommend. I linked both below.

https://www.indigenousaction.org/accomplices-not-allies-abolishing-the-ally-industrial-complex/

https://archive.qzap.org/index.php/Detail/Object/Show/object_id/184

Also thank you for engaging in good faith and being willing to listen