this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2026
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Autism

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How can I give up on romantic relationships? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
35 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm already 35, and I don't think I could get anything at this age, especially in an area with almost no third places, almost nonexistent mental health system, etc.

Yes I know, friends do exist, but it's just not the same (unless you happen to regularly have sex, cuddle, etc. with your friends).

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[–] reversedposterior@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I feel like the older I've got the more asexual I feel and also the more I've realised that immersing myself in my interests is the thing that makes me happy. So I see other people as a bonus but don't actively seek them out. This reduces a lot of stress for me, and it means when people do want to hang out they must really want to. Also I don't think I have more than 1 friend irl any more. Online is a better space for me to find people with matching interests.

[–] Lj404333@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I've been feeling like this and trying to just focus on myself. Still deciding whether I'm just being chameleon to others sexual energy and if they want it, it happens but otherwise asexual.

Prefer fwb, no expectations and no commitment just mutual respect. It makes it all seem less overwhelming as a nd. The option is there with a trusted friend for if like me you get that random but rare impulse to be sexual/cuddly

[–] reversedposterior@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah this is similar to how I tend to feel to be honest too

[–] Lj404333@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think sometimes us nds focus too much on what is nt, traditional and expected. We have the right to choose which way we are most comfortable and shouldn't worry what's been told for years is the 'right' way. Try getting therapy from a therapist pretending to support Nd, it's likely not going to work cos your brain doesn't function to nt style therapy and there way of being therapised