Autism

Age has nothing to do with it.

I guy I know in his 60s (with a beard and big bear belly) who was single for a long time. Then he wrote a kind and very honest profile on a few dating sites about who he is (and isn't) and what he's looking for. The response was huge and he met a lot of people. Now 4 years later he's in a committed long term relationship.

I found someone in my 40s. You just gotta keep searching.

It sounds like you're looking for an excuse to give up on romantic relationships, but the choice is either 1) you desire a romantic relationship or 2) you don't desire a romantic relationship.

Focus on yourself. Focusing on your age, your mental healthcare system, etc is externalizing, whereas focusing on increasing your openness, assertiveness, and socializing are things you can do to work toward finding a partner. Plenty people in difficult circumstances find partners, and 35 is far from too old to date (it's never too old to date).

Something to think about friend

Why give up?

I didn't find the love of my life until I was 45

I would not despair for it, but don't discard it either

Aro/ace 40 something here, I think giving up isn't the right sentiment here. I haven't been in a meaningful relationship since 35ish either and it's less that I've given up and more that I realized my priorities are different. I have a regular rotation of friends that I spend time with, and there's been a few I've entertained the idea of being sexual with, but ultimately, the shine is off sex for me, the novelty isn't there to push me into the arms of just anyone who offers, I feel like this is relatively normal but I also know that I have a significant ace bent that is a little outside the norm.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely miss the oxytocin and the sense of security and the sort of weird sense of success you get from finding a companion on that kind of level, but this isn't just the raw excitement of bringing someone home from the bar when you're 22, it's not the same game.

I second a lot of the sentiment that maybe trying dating apps is good. If you don't have a lot of meeting places then you gotta alter your net, I imagine you are not alone in your current state where you are, and if you want to just spaghetti method the hunt for companionship that's probably the way to go. You don't have to have sex with everyone you meet, you get to choose, but you can't ever know if you're interested if you don't put yourself in a position to meet people.

Or, yeah, you find something else to do for a while. I haven't been with anyone for over half a decade. I've had a broad range of experiences with different types of relationships and I just realized that the standard options don't work for me. Probably some sort of poorly managed neurodivergence on my part but it also doesn't feel wrong or like I'm giving up. It's just where I am. I made my own socks. It's a unique kind of decadence I didn't know I wanted. Maybe find something like that and work it out of your system then see what you feel like.

Commute to your nearest local city. Annoying and hard? Yeah, but plenty of people date in their 30s.

I feel like the older I've got the more asexual I feel and also the more I've realised that immersing myself in my interests is the thing that makes me happy. So I see other people as a bonus but don't actively seek them out. This reduces a lot of stress for me, and it means when people do want to hang out they must really want to. Also I don't think I have more than 1 friend irl any more. Online is a better space for me to find people with matching interests.

It's obnoxious, and frankly I'm of the opinion that the internet, social media, and dating app profiles have made people too fickle. With the ability to see and speak to so many people (and the inevitable army of bots now with AI) we've gotten to a place where we want the EXACT ideal and skip out on things that could be good otherwise.

What I might say is don't look, but keep your eyes open. Even if someone you run across in your regular life who seems ideal is unavailable, take it as a sign that these people exist and sometime you may run into them.

Source: late 40s and still curious years after my last relationship

Don't give up

You can't. This is part of you. You can make yourself numb and live the rest of your life in a daze, or you can change your circumstances.

If I were you I would move, even without a financial safety net. Better to be destitute in a place where you have time for friends than to be alone for the rest of your life.

Why do you want one? what is the end goal?

Are you expectations based in reality and experience, or are they just fantasy escapism from your current circumstances?

I was 43 when I met the woman that would become my wife.

You can find soulmate even in relatively old age.

Sounds like you hate where you live.

If you have money and aren't ugly, move. Even if you are ugly, start going to the gym anyway.

Also try this. Pretend you already do have someone and any person you see is just a person. If you do this and stop chasing after them people will naturally gravitate to you. I don't know what it is but once you have someone people are magnetized to you and you can't do anything about it(silly how it works).

I was going on 30 without really having been in a serious relationship ever and had the thoughts you communicate in the title. Started trying to date some girls from the Philippines in my home town and ended up meeting one of their friends' friends... It all worked out in the end.

What do you mean

8 billion people on the planet. There is certainly a partner out there for you. Just make sure you love yourself before you ask someone to love you. Loving yourself means making the effort to search because this bothers you and you're the only one that can fix it. It also means being honest with your expectations in terms of reciprocal value.