this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2026
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One of my children is questioning their gender, and they seem at ease with non-binary. I found this out yesterday, so I'm approaching this gently, though I feel ill-prepared. I want to be who they need.

I'm curious about the experiences of other parents, or stories about your parents learning to adjust if you came out to them.

Follow-up: Thank you all so much for your stories and your feedback!

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[–] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 12 points 23 hours ago

Queer parent with a queer kid here. I've been on both sides of this situation.

The best thing you can do is be openly and actively supportive of your child. Leave them with no doubt that you love them, you recognise them and are happy for them and that you will support them.

After that, just listen to what they need.

If you can do that, the rest doesn't matter. You will absolutely fuck up and say the wrong thing at some point. That's fine. It's inevitable. What's important isn't avoiding the situation, but how you respond after. If they know that you love them, that you're trying your best, and you can learn from your mistakes, that's what matters.

Your kid will tell you what they need, even if it's just the space to work out what they need. Just listen :)