this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2026
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One of my children is questioning their gender, and they seem at ease with non-binary. I found this out yesterday, so I'm approaching this gently, though I feel ill-prepared. I want to be who they need.

I'm curious about the experiences of other parents, or stories about your parents learning to adjust if you came out to them.

Follow-up: Thank you all so much for your stories and your feedback!

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[โ€“] ComradePenguin@lemmy.ml 7 points 12 hours ago

Disclaimer##

I am cishet without experience here. This is what I would do. Might not be perfect, but most things is okay if there is lots of good intentions and love ๐Ÿ˜Š

I would be honest. You are allowed to have feelings and be conflicted. You are however not allowed to make this about you. When talking about it, be careful and sensitive. Anger or denial should be suppressed. Talk to someone else if you feel that way. Your role is not to stop it, but to stay close and be loving. Do not ask too many questions about "Are you sure? Maybe its just a phase? etc". Your long term relationsship depends on how you handle it. Handling it perfectly is less important than showing lots of love and support.

"I support you and love you no matter what"

"i might not react or handle everything correctly, but want to learn and support you"

"Does this mean there might not get grandchildren? If so, that's a shame, but not the end of the world"

"I am unsure how I can help you make the right decisions for you going forward, is it okay if I suggest seeing a therapist to help you navigate this? Not to stop you, but just to help you find out what you need."

"You can talk to me about anything, I might not always understand, but will read about it and try to educate myself"