this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

God, this shit pisses me off so fucking much because it's this bullshit-ass pop-philosophy that liberals have settled into that pushes away young men and perpetuates the patriarchal bullshit in the world.

To start with..... Have you ever even met anyone in real life that spoke this way? I feel like people on lemmy are so quick to see a post from an unknown random on the internet and speak about it as if it's an epidemic.

The problem is the fucking system, not who is doing the punching. Libs get so wrapped up in anything but the system that they make the problem worse. Like the popularization of the term "mansplaining". Oh neat, so now the problem women face about being seen as competent is about men.

I think the critique is aimed at a functional aspect of the system. You seem to acknowledge the patriarchy, which is a critique of a hierarchical system that is largely controlled by and benefits men. I don't see how agitating against mansplaining is anything but critical towards people talking over or diminishing the voices of women.

Because, of course, feminism didn't come about to improve the treatment of women, but to point out who the bad people are. The would you rather for women about running across a bear or a random man is about how man worse than bear, not that women feel so egregiously unsafe in their daily lives.

How do you change a system without being critical about aspects of the system that require change?

The man vs bear is definitely an allegory about how women feel unsafe due to the discrepancy of power between the sexes, in both physical and societal power.

Libs see women get mistreated for no reason then go "men should suffer, too", then pat themselves on the back because now everyone hates everyone, no matter the gender[bullshit-ass heart emojis].

I think the point is to highlight the discrepancy between the experiences of men and women. For example the man vs bear scenario isn't claiming that men too should be more afraid to run across a random woman than a bear. It's a way to highlight their perspective, the point is we should live in a society where women do not have to feel like they could become prey to unjust violence from a random man.

[–] NoTagBacks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I think most of my sarcasm didn't translate well here. I should know better, this being the internet/text and all. I'll try to be more clear about my stance because I don't think we fundamentally disagree, but I suspect there may be a point or two we may want to make more granular.

As a response to your first paragraph(sorry, on mobile), yes, I legitimately have met many people irl who use this rhetoric, though, as you point out, it's not an epidemic, nor do I think there are many "true believers", so-to-speak, as much as it's casual, unthinking discrimination. Admittedly, they skew young and college age and will typically correct course if explicitly addressed. Those that double down are usually the youngest and/or self-described assholes.

As for the patriarchy, yeah, that's the primary problem. My point is to primarily focus on the system(the patriarchy) as the problem, rather than people (men). After all, many women will perpetuate and even sometimes benefit from the patriarchy. Hence my contention with the term "mansplaining", as I attempted to point out this takes the focus away from the problem of the optics of women's competence and focuses on men specifically looking down on women. It's a crude and unhelpful pop-philosophy term that admittedly was deliberately used precisely because it's an emotionally defended term of pop-feminist philosophy and is a good illustration of the gulf between pop-philosophy and where actual academic philosophy stands. The problem isn't that a man is doubting someone else as the term would imply, but that a woman is seen as incapable of competence. The goal of women's liberation is co-opted by pointing the finger at men. I think the nefarious reason this term is so sticky is because it is indeed rooted in real life examples of the most common optical occurrence of perpetuating doubt about women's competence. And as the primary point of my rant illustrates, liberal rhetoric has crept into blaming/attacking men at the expense of the goal of gender liberation.

Now, I should be very clear about what my focus on the system rather than the people is/isn't doing; focus on the patriarchy as the problem rather than on men as the problem will indeed still call out the actions of men more often. However, what this primarily accomplishes as a direct criticism of pop-philosophy is separate the action from the actor to more accurately describe why the action is wrong as opposed to who is doing the wrong. Rather than trying to root out problematic groups of people, now we more accurately root out problematic behavior amongst all of us. Pop-philosophy would rather you just lazily say "ugh, men, amirite?"

The allegory of man vs bear in the woods isn't lost on me. I think my sarcasm got a bit too thick in the characterization of liberals missing the point with it. I think it's a great illustration of demonstrating reality that even when recognizing the problem is indeed patriarchy and not men, women would still be wise to pick the bear over the random man in the woods due to how the patriarchy manifests itself in social power dynamics. Most men probably are relatively safe, but the unsafe men pose enough of a risk that it's impossible to ignore. This is definitely a perspective all men should do their best to come to understand about the very real experiences of women. However, my point in bringing this particular allegory up was to show the unhinged nature of the careless use of inaccurate language by liberals and pop-philosophy in saying it's all men when confronted by those who didn't understand the point. In looking at my post, I see now that it was very unclear I moved on from the allegory completely at the end of that sentence.

My point at the end there was to illustrate how dumb the rhetoric of attacking men is when considering the assumed premise of the rhetoric is pro-feminist = anti-men. Now everyone is miserable in discrimination because of their gender and women's liberation dies in great irony. When in reality feminism does indeed include men's liberation from patriarchy. While men are the primary beneficiaries of patriarchy, they also face discrimination because of patriarchy as well, obviously to a much lesser degree than women.

So, to sum up my rant: the anti-men rhetoric becoming casually included in pop-philosophy is problematic because:

  1. It is fundamentally anti-feminist to be anti-men.
  2. Being anti-men once again distracts from the actual goal of gender liberation.
  3. Pushes away men who would otherwise be allies and even personally benefit from feminism.

And to reiterate the points you brought up that I do agree warrant emphasis that I originally failed to mention:

  1. This isn't an epidemic, nor are there really that many "true believers" in anti-men rhetoric. Loud online assholes are usually the larger offending demographic.
  2. While I have indeed heard this rhetoric unironically irl fairly often, the perpetrators were usually young, immature, and not usually full of conviction. I suspect most have/will grow out of it.
  3. Much of this rhetoric comes from Hollywood, the democratic party, and online trolls. I think naming these sources speaks enough about how much of this problem is real versus manufactured.
  4. And, admittedly, I think this is probably the point to come after me about: the problem is more manifest in how the rhetoric is currently creeping into casual conversation and unspoken premises rather than an actual intentional belief system. The problem is more rhetorical drift than ideological.

As for the patriarchy, yeah, that's the primary problem. My point is to primarily focus on the system(the patriarchy) as the problem, rather than people (men). After all, many women will perpetuate and even sometimes benefit from the patriarchy.

So this is really the source of my confusion when it comes to your response. How does one go about dismantling a hierarchical system without being critical towards the people who operate and reinforce the system?

To me that would be like saying yes chattle slavery is bad, but we shouldn't attack southern slave holders, after all plenty of northern cloth makers profit from cotton produced in the south.

separate the action from the actor to more accurately describe why the action is wrong as opposed to who is doing the wrong.

Sticking with my analogy, I don't think non slavers have to be explained that they are not at fault for the actions of slave holders. No one is claiming that labeling all male communication is mansplaining is okay.

inaccurate language by liberals and pop-philosophy in saying it's all men when confronted by those who didn't understand the point.

Again, i don't think we should be blaming the people making the allegory for the people who fail to realize the point. In most cases those who interpret it as "all men" are not making that claim in good faith.

Going back to my analogy, it would be like saying many white plantation owners also owned slaves, and having someone claim that I said all white people in the south were slavers.

to illustrate how dumb the rhetoric of attacking men is when considering the assumed premise of the rhetoric is pro-feminist = anti-men.

I think this argument only aids the people who are conflating criticism against men practicing misogyny as criticism against all men.

When dismantling a hierarchical system like the patriarchy, there will be people who operate and benefit from that system who feel attacked. While I agree that we shouldn't single out every male who vicariously benefits from the system(I am a male after all). I disagree that being critical towards individuals who actively work to reinforce that system is "anti-male". Hierarchical system are human constructs, and thus the individuals who perpetuate that construct are inseparable from them. You can't target the system without targeting the people who make and reinforce the system.