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Please take this as kindly as I’m offering it. From this comment, to me it sounds like you make a lot of assumptions about everyone’s intentions but only listen to your own.
Decenter yourself when thinking about others, I think you’re comparing everyone to your own circumstances rather than truly empathizing.
Not saying you’re necessarily conservative, but this “I did it right and they’re doing it wrong” attitude always dissolves when it suddenly affects them and they “didn’t realize it was that bad”
Intentions don't matter. Results do.
My work doesn't care if I intense to do a good job. They care if I actually do it. Nor do you.
No, I do empathize. I went through a miserable and painful experience losing friends over their shitty choices, who refused my help and advice, who turn and blamed me for not 'helping' them by me giving they my money to enable their shitty choices. And yes, they told me off about what a MONSTER i was for doing this. For saying 'no, friend/girlfriend/family member, i'm not goign to loan you $500 to buy booze and drugs'
God, why is it that so many folks on here seem to think they are saints and that anyone who doesn't share their aspirational sainthood is some monster of a human being who lacks empathy? Have you had friends/family beg you for drug money? Did you just give it to them? Have you had people steal form you, and vandalize your property because you refused to give them what they felt you owed them? And what, you think that in that situation I was the asshole?
No, they do know what they are doing is bad. That is your false assumption. People PRETEND they don't. Cheaters, lairs, thieves, criminals, will all ARGUE with you that when they do it it's not bad! But if you do it to them, you're a monster.
The difference between us, is I acknowledge objectively shitty and awful people exist. You don't. You seem to to think shitty people are like innocent. Which makes me seriously question what kind of privileged life you have lead where you seem to think nobody is ever at fault for their own choices... except me, right. I'm at fault for my lack of empathy for not giving my drug-chasing friends in my 20s money... and it's MY FAULT they got busted by the cops, ended up in prison, and so on, right? If only I had loaned them that $500 in 2002 their life would be on the straight and narrow!
Give me a break with this nonsense. You are not empathic, you're just naive to the point of delusion and you want use the term 'empathy' as a weapon to shame and beat others into agreement with you. I don't agree with you, and if you think that makes me a shitty person... perhaps that's because you're not such a great person.
Except when it’s yourself I presume
No. My intentions don't matter to other people. Nor should they.
What I find hilarious though, is other people's bitterness towards me for my happiness and success in my life, that I achieved after decades of hard work and sacrifice and deprivation of my immediate wants so I could build myself a better future. People who are poorer than me, tell me I'm a rich undeserving asshole, and people richer than me, tell me I'm a loser for not having as much as they do, even though I have more than I ever wanted. People I meet who are able the same, just don't care either way....
anyway, you are not kind. what you are is patronizing and negative, because i articulated a life experience you do not find emotionally palatable, because it contrasts with your world view that people are inherently good and just make mistakes.
some people do make mistakes, those people are not 55 and living paycheck to paycheck. those people simple refused to save their money for the future.
Why do you feel that the bitterness stems from your success or happiness? For me, I’m generally happy when I hear of successes of others. It sounds like you’re on your feet and in a much better position than before, and honestly every success deserves some praise or we get nowhere don’t we. But why do you feel others aren’t sharing in some joy in your development? Is it just some unpleasant individuals or is this like, everyone you meet
because people hate people who are different than them. because it hurts their feelings. hence why they overwhelmingly tend to want to only socialized and live with people who are very very similar to themselves, and see people who are different as threats. and similarly, many people's lives are consumed by petty jealousies and social comparisons and judgements of what others deserve and don't deserve, including themselves.
I'm glad you are like that. Some people are, a but a lot of folks, are not. They see the world though a very bitter lens of what they feel they are owed by other people, in a very one-sided way. And personally, I do not identify or understand that viewpoint on the world myself. I have never felt anyone owed me anything and I generally feel grateful for the things I was able to achieve, so I really can't emotionally relate to folks who think I, or anyone else, owes them things.
increasingly we seem to live in a world where nobody admits fault or takes personal responsibility, sadly. And it's having dire consequences for our society, at least in the western world. people rarely go 'what can i offer to others' anymore. they go 'what can others give to me, and why aren't they giving it to me, and why isn't it more'.
it's not everyone I meet at all, but it's very much a cultural shift that has been happening the past 10 years, to the point where these attitudes and beliefs were rare, and now they are increasingly common.
Is it true that 30 years ago people took more responsibility than today? Or were the times you recall of humility just as unique then as they are now
And also in what ways? Is taking responsibility a single act or does it require constant effort? Is it a destination? Can someone take responsibility and still fail after? And if that happens do you remember the times it worked or do you only regard the time it failed?