this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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[–] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 2 points 6 days ago

I'm 65 and both my parent are still alive, which is amazing. My father is 94. Unfortunately he has been suffering from increasingly serious dementia over the last few years. It is terrible to see a genuinely great mind crippled by having less than a minute of reliable recall. I know it isn't likely, but I keep hoping that one of the many breakthroughs in treatment that are in early trials will become available while it can still do him some good.

My father was a successful engineer for a few years, then decided that wasn't what he needed to be doing. He went to a seminary for a master's degree and became a Methodist minister. Although he grew up around Chicago, he went to South Carolina because they were very short of qualified ministers. As a white midwesterner in the rural deep south during the late 50's and early 60's he took part in the civil rights movement, which nearly got him killed more than once. My parent moved back north before I started school, because they weren't willing to put me into the 49th best educational system in the country.

He spent the rest of his career in Iowa, often assigned to churches that recovering from serious problems. (For example, his predecessor at one had been found to be a pedophile and sent to prison.) My father was good at restoring people's trust, partly because he never said or did the easy things. He challenged people to think and to act on their convictions.

In his late forties, he went back to school part-time, while continuing to be a full-time pastor, and earned a doctorate in theology. It wasn't part of a career change, he just wanted to continue his education. And I don't think he ever used the title that came with it.

I should also note that he was a good father. He spent time with us, despite working long hours as a minister. He was loving and supportive.

My father has never been perfect. He got frustrated, angry, and impatient, like everyone else, but he was an amazing example of what an intelligent and courageous person can be.

It's hard not to feel that I've already lost him. I do try to appreciate the time I still have with him, but it is sometimes hard.