this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Students say Brigham Young University is policing this behavior even more than its parent church does.


Brigham Young University administrators have put an explicit ban on “same-sex romantic behavior” in the school’s Honor Code, and students say it goes farther than the Mormon Church’s policy on same-sex relationships.

In 2020, BYU deleted a ban on “homosexual behavior” from the Honor Code, leading some LGBTQ+ students to celebrate. But soon afterward, the Church Educational System, which governs all the BYU campuses, clarified that the deletion didn’t mean “same-sex romantic behavior” was acceptable. Last month, it added the language prohibiting “same-sex romantic behavior” to the code.

“Though the ban had never really lost its effect, for some students the official restoration of it still felt like a gut punch,” Religion News Service reports.

The Honor Code tells BYU students to live “a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman.” With the new language, it notes that “living a chaste and virtuous life also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior.”

BYU is affiliated with the Mormon Church (officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), which opposes same-sex relationships. The church won’t perform same-sex marriages and expects the faithful to refrain from sexual activity with members of the same gender. It also opposes gender transition, and church leaders have said that LGBTQ+ activism comes from Satan.

But some BYU students say certain LDS congregations look the other way when a member is dating someone of the same sex, while the college is policing dating relationships.

“Depending on where you are, who your religious leaders are, you can actually date people of the same sex with very little church repercussions,” BYU student Gracee Purcell, president of the RaYnbow Collective, a group for the college’s queer students and alumni, told Religion News Service. “At BYU, that usually gray line within the church is a hard line. Anything that they deem homosexual behavior, or same-sex romantic behavior, is not allowed.”

That “romantic behavior” could include dating, holding hands, or kissing. If a student engages in any of these, “as in years past, each situation will be handled on a case-by-case basis to help each student feel the love of the Savior and to encourage them to live their gospel covenants and university/college commitments,” says a list of BYU’s answers to frequently asked questions.

LGBTQ+ groups for BYU students and alums opposed the prohibition but said at least the school is being up front about its attitudes. “I’m just glad people can now finally see explicitly what’s happening,” Evelyn Telford, a vice president of Understanding Sexuality, Gender & Allyship, told the news service. “There’s no way to get around it that they are openly being discriminatory to queer students.” But it will make queer students feel more isolated and under scrutiny by others, she said.

The LGBTQ+ groups will continue doing their work, and the RaYnbow Collective will hold its annual off-campus Back-to-School Pride event in Provo, Utah, September 16. Provo is home to BYU’s main campus, and the school also has campuses in Idaho and Hawaii. Ensign College in Salt Lake City is governed by the Church Educational System as well.

Despite BYU’s anti-LGBTQ+ policies, queer students come to the university because of academics, family connections, or other reasons, Telford said. And some may not recognize they’re queer until they’re in college. That was the case with her, she said.

“It’s such a personal decision to be at BYU, and your sexuality shouldn’t mean you don’t deserve a place there,” she told Religion News Service.

Purcell added, “The lack of representation and the increase in religious and societal pressures won’t stop queer students from coming. But it will hurt them.”


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[–] esadatari@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago (4 children)

i’m not even gay and id buttfuck a twink just to stick it to the man. then i would claim it’s not romantic because i’m not gay so how could i feel romance toward another male.

checkmate

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I volunteer as tribute!

[–] SCB@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Having sex at all violates the Honor Code at BYU

[–] esadatari@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

fine i’ll get one of those crazy mormons to jump hump me into butt fuckin a twink. stick to the LDS rules.

[–] SCB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Now that is the BYU spirit!

[–] Twelve20two@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but, like, to completion, tho?

[–] Neato@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

How very Roman of you.

[–] 3laws@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“romantic behavior” could include dating, holding hands, or kissing.

So no-strings-attached raw fucking is allowed only if they say no homo? Nice.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Does sucking cock count as kissing?

[–] absentthereaper@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 year ago

I mean, if I recall right, hardline Abrahamics and their derivatives aren't supposed to trend towards believing in contraception in the first place, so of course it'd be raw

[–] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about if there's no romance involved, and you're just aggressively banging to release the stress of studying.

[–] Staccato@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

"Sir you don't understand. We were being completely chaste while fucking the shit out of each other. We were just trying to prepare for that orgo exam."

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

sounds like discrimination to me

[–] SCB@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They're a private religious college, for Mormons, so discrimination on these grounds is not illegal.

The Honor Code tells BYU students to live “a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman.” With the new language, it notes that “living a chaste and virtuous life also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior.”

Par for the course for their religious beliefs

[–] Poob@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why the fuck would a gay person want to go to a Mormon university?

[–] tree@lemmy.zip 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The obvious answer being that you are far more likely to be closeted if you're Mormon and it might be the only school you got a scholarship (they give very generous scholarships at BYU) to or your parents will pay for you to go to, but probably many more reasons than that

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

A lot of people don't know they're gay until college.

[–] FrankFrankson@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

To prepare to become a Log Cabin Republican

[–] totallynotarobot@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Why are shitholes like this allowed to exist? I thought y'all had separation of church and state. Indoctrination farms are antithetical to democracy and human decency.

Edit: I see from another comment this is a private institution. Disregard.

Edit 2: apparently private indoctrination farms get federal money. Boooooo

[–] Uranium3006@kbin.social 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They still get federal money though. I shouldn't have to pay for a college with my taxes that would reject me for who I am

[–] totallynotarobot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

In addition to that, which is enough of a reason on its own, the point of giving federal money to universities is to ensmarten the population in general, thereby benefiting all taxpayers. So not only is this a terrible deal for people who are directly and personally affected by this cult's bigotry, but it's a terrible deal for everyone who would otherwise benefit from being surrounded by a community of educated people instead of wingnuts.

I am sorry this is a thing.

[–] ThePac@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

I thought y'all had separation of church and state.

Oh, honey...

Oh don't worry. The state of Utah takes care of them just fine.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

"religious grounds" just translates to that church expressing its political dominance.. and the need to do that is always seated in greed.. greed for money and power..

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fucking Mormons, man. I swear...

[–] StorminNorman@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, they're not fucking. Cos of the code.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Mamertine@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

They just need James Marsden to jump on the bed next to them.

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] gornar@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

"Don't worry, there's no romance, we're just fucking!"

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

School should not be religious. Period. Ever.

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Religiosity is entrenched in the history of schooling. I think there is a place in the world for religious schooling. I just don’t think such places should receive direct governmental funding unless the religious part is optional.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

I think there is a place in the world for religious schooling.

Yeah, that's called a church

[–] LetMeEatCake@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Key word being history. Slavery was entrenched in the history of society and we successfully separated the two (although society still needs to work on the second order effects, sadly). Just saying it's been that way in the past is not a valid argument for why it should continue. That's basically an appeal to tradition fallacy.

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[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure I agree because religion in school means children get little to no sex education. I think one could certainly study world religions and such, as an academic topic, but having gone to publicly funded Catholic school I'm personally very not in favour.

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[–] S_204@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

NCAA should ban them from all competitions. This is straight up bigotry.

[–] Immersive_Matthew@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

IMO, you cannot be Higher Education if you behave this way. I feel for those attending this University as now they are no longer coming from an esteemed place.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

The worst thing about BYU to me (other than this sort of social bullshit) is that they have a really good archaeology program and the only reason it's so good is so they can 'prove' Joseph Smith's moronic history of the Americas was correct.

[–] SCB@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

esteemed place

Do you... Not know what BYU is?

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

did they ban crossing of all swords or explicitly the meaty kind.. i mean what if it's just a little cock fighting to establish dominance.. i understand their hatred of affection, that's a given..

[–] art@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Just turn it off, like a light switch.
Just go click!
It's a cool little Mormon trick!"

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

The monsters have decided that this is their moment. The rest of us need to decide whether we're okay with this being their moment.

[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago
[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 5 points 1 year ago

Why would anyone go there of they even suspect they might be gay? I know folks who received electroshock therapy there in the 70s to try to cure them.

[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago
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