Ask Lemmy

If you really believe the things you're saying, you need to check yourself into a hospital. The odds that this is rea--as opposed to being a delusion--are very, very low. Some of the things you're talking about are mutually exclusive; for instance, Hell's Angels don't mix with Bloods, because Hell's Angels is a white MC (or, has enough wildly racist members that no non-white person is likely to get patched in), and the Bloods are a black street gang. These are not groups that play together. Then you add in right wing militias, which have very nearly zero crossover with either of them. (And Freemasons? They're just a fraternal order, not really any different than the Kiwanis Club.)

If your therapist didn't believe you, and was trying to get you on medication, that's a really, really strong indication that you need medication.

Sorry buddy, I know it's not what you want to hear because everything you are experiencing seems very real to you, but I worked with many people with mental illness and reading this feels just like that.

I know this is hard to accept, but try the medicine. You don't have to take it forever, but just try it for a few months. Make a video diary so you can look back and see any changes.