One that comes to mind for me: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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"Grow up and live in the real world" / "Life's not fair" / other thought-terminating cliches used to shut down anyone who wants the world to be a better place than it is. Like, I fucking know it's an unfair place. The whole point is that I would like for it to be less unfair.
I got told "life isn't fair" so many times growing up, I came up with a default comeback: "Doesn't mean you have to be."
A version of it has grown to became my tenet in life: "The universe doesn't care, so we have to."
"Life isn't fair" always bothered me, even as a kid, because it was used against me to dismiss unjust actions.
Saying something isn't fair is basically saying it's not right, it's not just.
Trying to claim the injustice against me is moot or unimportant just because there's lots of injustice in the world, seems bonkers to me.
It's been a millenium since I've heard it, as I no longer qualify as young.
But
"You'll understand when you're older"
I'm older.
I'm thirty.
The only thing I "understand" is that all the rules are arbitrary as all fuck, society was made up by idiots with giant sticks up their arses, and everyone should go fuck themselves.
The only "progress" I made is that I stopped hating myself for "failing at society" and started hating society for failing so many people.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
No. What doesn't kill you creates trauma.
What doesn't kill you evolves and tries again
“All’s fair in love and war”
No it isn’t you fucking sociopath
It's not a great saying if used to defend acts (on the love side of things, that mindset can even ruin what it's trying to "win"), but it does make sense to keep it in mind when considering possible actions of other players. If you're fighting for someone's love or at war, don't assume there's any moral limits to what others might do and that it's thus safe to ignore those angles.
"He/she just tells it like it is" No, they are just saying things that resonate with you, but have no actual alignment with data, facts or morality. Simply saying things with no filter doesn't equal "like it is". I find it is usually attributed to, at best, oversimplified or completely ignorant statements, at worst, misleading and/or hateful statements.
I'm sure I'll get guff for this but, "common sense". Throughout my youth, when people told me something was common sense, I usually thought they were wrong.
"Boys will be boys"
How about you teach your kid how to behave and respect others so they don't grow up to be an entitled asshole.
life is beautiful.
no, it's not. it's an ugly, parasitic process that accelerates resource consumption merely for its own pointless existence. the heat death of the universe will come all that faster only because of the presence of life.
and, for sure, humankind is the pinnacle of this selfish and greedy outcome of biological evolution.
And to what would not having life accomplish? What is the point of not having life? How is there beauty in the lack of life when only things that have life even have a concept of beauty? Your viewpoint requires you to believe in some type of inherent value that doesn't exist.
Life is beautiful. That it even managed to exist, let alone evolve is fascinating, wonderous, fantastical. That certain species mucked things up isn't life's fault.
"lets agree to disagree"
how about fuck you, one of us is wrong and I want to know which one of us that is!
Hmmm, while I see your point on the phrase, my friend group and I only ever use it on subjective things. Like orange juice or chocolate milk being better, for example. If we're both arguing (in a fun way) and have no good points to change the other's mind, then we agree to disagree. Haha
Not a fan of "it is what it is". It's called a thought-terminating cliche. It often means "I'm tired of talking about this, do it my way" when my boss says it.
I've always liked it. I guess it depends who is saying it because when my old boss said it, it meant more like, "this is the situation we're in, let's not waste time arguing about why it is the situation and let's just focus on dealing with it and going forward"
Yeah it can have wildly different meanings depending on the circumstances in which it's said. It can be "well we can't change it, may as well get on with life" all the way to "well this discussion is not gonna change anything, let's get on with fixing it". Very similar, but polar opposite sentiments.
Those sentiments seem identical to me.
First one is saying there's no point fixing anything, just get over it. Second one saying fixing it might suck, let's fix it anyway.
Very, very different...
Oh? They both read to me as "We can't change the past, only the future".
Oedipus begs to differ.
Interesting. I use it to indicate I may not like a situation, but I have to play the have I was dealt to the best of my ability, and sometimes... Well to quote lyrics, "got to know when to hold cem, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."
"Everything happens for a reason ."
No. Fuck no, and fuck you. I DARE you to say that to the faces of the endless innocent people—many of whom are CHILDREN—who have been murdered, tortured, abused, enslaved, raped, ect.
I used to say this when I was a cringy 20-year-old, before I really saw and understood the world (and still believed in a god).
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," It's like nails on a chalkboard every time I hear it. There is a very limited context where it may be applicable, but mostly it's used to give up trying or mock someone for failing a task. Have you never gotten better at something over time? Learned an instrument? Played a hard video game? Learned to ride a bike? It stops problem solving dead and kills motivation making it less than useless. Oh and its misattributed to Einstein like every other shitty quote
And very much the opposite of how many good things came to be - for example, inventors typically invent things with many failures first. Not 100% sure this is Thomas Edison but a quote attributed to him goes "I didn’t fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps."
This is the direct opposite of the saying.
If you try 1000 different combinations of bulb design you are not doing the same thing over and over again. It would be insane to attempt to make a light bulb 1000 times out of the same exact material and design and expect a different outcome.
The entire point of the saying is learn from your failures. Make adjustments. Try something slightly different.
Yes, I think what you wrote is the point. But when he was actively inventing it and was trying it for the 900th time (with variance), I feel like that's exactly when someone would call that insanity. Because, to the outside world, it looks like he's just trying this thing over and over and expecting to make the light bulb happen, but it looks crazy to everyone else.
I was trying to point out that there may be more nuance going on than someone simply doing something over and over and expecting different results.