this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 4 days ago

I guess this is a problem in circles I'm not in, or our generation has moved away from this. might be the only positive thing about it. I have never experienced this issue, but I also hang out in mostly queer circles, so that might play into it as well.

[–] SingularEye@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

she's kinda right though

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

I definitely think there's a degree of maturity where a person separates potential sex partners and potential friends. Or Maybe it's just me and I assume everyone wants to horndog with everyone. Which is okay, just keep it in your pants.

I've been married for 15 years now and I usually deflect any forms of attraction (men and women). I've had a few times where they confess, and I've always just kind of shrugged and let them know I'm not the person they built up in their heads. if they get creepy, quietly move on. Most don't and we're lifelong friends.

Again, maturity plays a huge part. And if they're not mature enough to see you as a person, whoever you are... That's on them. It may feel lonely on your part, but honestly, the drama with people who have obsessive crushing is way honestly more annoying.

[–] tasho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

having guy friends who act normal are great when it happens! I have a couple at least.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't the easy way out of that issue be to either seek out gay men or men who are in a relationship?

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't that be treating single straight men as if they're inherently dangerous? Is that what you recommend?

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Where did you get "dangerous" from? She wants to find people who want the same thing as she does, and evidently she didn't have luck trying to find a friend among single hetero/bi men. So why not try a different group of men?

Anyway, feel free to offer alternative strategies.