No Stupid Questions

Bill dropped his keys on the counter and stood there staring at them, suddenly thinking about all the times he’d thrown his keys there before, and how many days of his life were wasted repeating the same tasks and and rituals in his apartment over and over again. But then he wondered if realistically this was his life and the unusual part was his time spent doing other things.

Get a pet, you need a distraction and to look outwards a little bit perhaps. Mine give me a point since I enjoy their antics and need to be around to sustain them

Only do this if you're going to be responsible tho. There's enough deadbeats with pets that shouldn't be trusted with an egg-timer let alone a moving, breathing, lifeform

Figure out what feels the most rewarding, and spend more time doing that. Learning a musical instrument, making art, or whatever else. Also, maybe get a pet.

Life has no point, you’re just energy given form (literally, not metaphorically or superstitiously or some shit, mass and energy are the same thing)

Hedonism is easy to fall into, and arguably fine, if you don't find life worth living but can't muster the enthusiasm to end it, you should try to change your environment.

For me, life is worth living for stories, I love books and the experience of being something different for a time. I have built my life around lazy evenings on the sofa with my cat on my lap reading a book, or playing a comfortable game, nothing else matters to me at all. It's easy to be content if your requirements are minimal.

Life is an odd phenomenon, we're blessed or cursed with consciousness, may as well do something you enjoy. If you don't know what you enjoy then try more stuff.

I sometimes feel this as well. Without my family, my hobbies, my job, and my vices I’m totally empty, and I do have a religion.

Therapy.

I started to feel a little better and like i understand myself a little better after watching some videos from here : https://www.youtube.com/@OurTimelessWisdom/videos

specifically the ones featuring carl jung, havent watched others yet

Anti-depressants might help.

I feel you, I get like this sometimes as well, it's what we call "getting in a rut". When I become self-aware of the situation, I just treat myself to something, could be a new keyboard, or PC part, or maybe it's just going out with friends for a few drinks.

This tends to at least put me on the path to climbing my way back out of it

How’s your anxiety level? Depression and anxiety are linked pretty closely and with you mentioning the expense of things that sticks out to me you might have other issues.

It sounds like a mental health evaluation would benefit you, honestly. I would not want to be alive today if not for medication.

I still don’t feel like doing anything or being with anyone but I don’t feel worthless.

I hope you can find something that helps

Okay. Hear me out.

Minecraft and cough syrup.

so you lack enthusiasm and ideas huh

you need to find a spark, something that drives you and makes lost in the moment

explore your likes, interests, values. Go from there. I know you said you don't care, but your lack of care and enthusiasm is your current jailor so perhaps start working on the keys

In your position I'd be donating some of that money that's otherwise sitting around doing nothing. But then again, I avoid tv and streaming shows like the plague and have actual niche interests that inspire me. I see people struggling, feel a fundamental urge to help them, and sometimes DO when I can afford it... And that shit is like a DRUG to me. Generosity feels fucking amazing @_@ oxytocin, adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, it's ALL there!

Get a dog and pamper it.

Sounds like you are dealing with an existential issue. Personally I've dealt with this by learning and teaching others, through this I feel I have found purpose. I also find it through political activism and volunteer work. There is nothing as fulfilling as helping others just because you want to and can.

Edit: most important part. Yes, there is a way. I am in no position to claim to know what is going to help you, but I do know this: there is another way to live. Following is what I have tried and it worked

Been around there, it really is not a good place. Time to look inside. You only have so much time left to live, and only so much energy to do things. As to what can be done, then if possible, take a good break: quit job, buy food, then just stay home. No books, no TV, no speaking to anyone, no internet, no games, no nothing. Your mind will go wild for some time, but then you will recover and see life with more clarity

And for the big picture - look inside. If you were to die today, what would you do? Whom would you speak to one last time? Where would you go if distance was not an issue? What do you want to be done with your dead body? (If the answer is "nothing, I don't care", I would strongly suggest go see a doctor. Depression does not just go away)

Also, remember this every day: tomorrow morning, you may not wake up. Today you woke up, but a day will come when you don't. Remind this to yourself. Slowly this will change your perspective

If you happen to feel like talking - message or ping me, I will answer as fast as I can

I'm like an atheist monk.

you might be having SzPD. I'm not saying that but you might think about it.

I don't want to travel because it costs money.

I don't spend much money on clothing or media and save most of my paycheck.

then why don't you use some of those to travel? There are ways to travel less expensively. I had a phase like this when I was a college kid and I saved up the small scholarship (much less than an actual job) and travelled, which did something that depression meds couldn't do then. ymmv though.

Well the only thing you said you liked doing is cooking so perhaps you should experiment with that more. Also it sounds like you do a lot, hardly what I'd describe as an empty life. Maybe try doing less. Boredom drives people to creativity, that might help you find something else you like doing.

Gym, Meditate, Therapy, Volunteer, Meetup, Hobbies. Any combination of these, at least 2.

Accumulating money doesn't count as character building nor living. Spend money wisely, but do spend it. Wisely is subjective, but see above for what I think that means in this context. Good luck.

Edit: wording.

Is there anything that you would like to do, any bucket list items etc?

Books, podcasts, niche youtubers, video games. Jusy keep trying different subjects until you find something that interests you. Learning is usually a draw for a lot of people. You could also try volunteering in some way. Maybe that will be more fulfilling.