Photography

Photographers do reach out to prospective clients and TFPs - it's not uncommon at all.

It is however far more commonly the reverse with clients reaching out to photographers.

That said, your instincts do you credit as the photographer that reaches out to the client/model can be somewhat sketch and deserves to be very carefully vetted.

"I always like to bring wine to my shoots just to kinda relax and ease your nerves"

That... is not professional, and you're absolutely right to turn down that gig.

No professional I know of would ever even think of doing that. We're all too concerned about getting sued or accused of something we did not do.

As a photographer, reaching out on social media is a way I've used to get new clients ( portrait and cosplay photography though not boudoir). That said, based on your conversation that is a HUGE red flag. You made the right call not working with that person. Those were some odd comments to make, especially to a client you don't know.

So sketch.

The wine part sounds rape-y af. Also, did he really write "out way"?

The hilarious part about this whole comment thread is as a creative (photographer/videographer) who has mostly commercial clients, when it comes to all the fields that make real money (commercial development, product shoots, weddings, corporate events) you’re always told to “work for free”, “build a portfolio”, “provide free work first”, “you can’t charge for something you’re not experienced with” but oh low and behold boudoir MUST be different if you’re a male photographer just getting into it. You’re just magically supposed to have a portfolio and people are just supposed to randomly want to work with you.

If we’re being real that’s not how it works, this is becoming a field of photography that’s being dominated by women photographers playing off the “male photographers are creepy to want to see you in this way” thing. Even if that male is 10 times better and can create an even better overall experience to the client. They want to keep it that way so they fuel that fire consistently.

My advice to males who really want to get into boudoir, ask friends (women you’re dating) to help build your portfolio, if you’re going to really do it, actually be a professional, DON’T do free shoots, I charge a good amount for a 30 min shoot and it goes up with more time and more photos and looks. Have paper work (contracts, model releases, use of likeness), and use a studio and an assistant.

Also believe it or not there are women who throw themselves at you even in a professional setting it’s not always us (I’ve had it happen countless of times in everything that I do, from personal training to photography to having women working for me in my career field), most women think they can have whatever man they want and it’s cool when they do it but it’s a problem when we do so resist it and be professional.

Nerve *wrecking. Block this guy.

Even as a photographer, trying to increase my outreach and always looking for new business, I'd say HARD no.

I know I guy who exclusively shoots women's boudoir and he gives me the eebie jeebies. He doesn't really promote "self-love" or anything like that, he just takes sexy, posed, and sometimes provocative photos of women. And I'm not hating on him for promoting poorly or being a guy in this field- it clear from his poses, captions on Instagram, gritty editing style (not soft and warm with balanced shadowing for modesty- sometimes it's straight up a woman's ass in the air in a thong), etc. that it's not about that at all. Empowering women through photography is one thing, taking photos of nearly nude or nude women because you like it is entirely different.

That response is 🚩 🚩 🚩

Also I don’t reach out to ppl for collab boudoir. Sometimes they reach out to me, but I don’t want to put anyone in an awkward position where they have to say no.

Nope, he’s a wank, way too much “fishing” in his response. Decline, or tell him your modeling fee is $1000 and you’ll be brining an escort. Ask any (most) boudoir photographers and they’ll all say alcohol is a hard no, as its unprofessional and can change the tone of the face/eyes.

If it wasn’t your idea, it’s probably a bad idea.

The majority of dudes who do that kind of photography are creeps with most of the remainder being hobbyists (who May or may not be creeps). There’s very little market for that work professionally… especially non commissioned.

Still, in the end it’s up to you. If you want those photos taken of you for some reason then it’s a free way to get that done. But make sure you are 100% comfortable with the dude or bring someone with you.