Mental Health

Everybody processes grief differently. Don't let others tell you how to mourn.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a similar experience, my grandmother went through brain surgery when I was young and after had severe dimentia for the rest of her life. My memories of her are split into a before and after category and honestly it is really hard to comprehend how I felt when she passed, especially whe it was so hard to remember the "her" memories after so long. I loved her a lot.

There's no wrong way to feel, take your time and make sure you process things in your own way. And thank you for sharing, hopefully this community can help you with any support you need.

My upvote means I feel for you and I don't have much to add. Hugs from afar.

I'm so sorry for your loss. 🫂 Grief comes in waves, the stages of grief aren't linear or sequential. Give yourself plenty of time to rest, heal, and process.

Hey buddy, sorry for your loss.

Just by way of reassurance, I think what you are feeling is very normal in this sort of situation and your experience is very relatable to me.

Very sorry for your loss, friend. Agreed with the other reply that said there is no wrong way to feel. Grief and loss are complicated things. I lost my grandma a couple years ago and I remember feeling nothing when I first heard the news and then while watching TV with my wife I suddenly broke down crying out of nowhere. Ten minutes later I was cracking up on the phone with my mom reminiscing. It's a complex and messy process, but it's worth letting yourself feel everything through it.

My sincerest condolences!

I have a similar problem with death. I tend to disassociate and make jokes and people mistake it as not caring. Sometimes it just goes away and I never experience the grief; other times, a year or two later it'll smack me out of nowhere.

It will take some time for your mind and body to level with the change. Be gentle with yourself. Soon this new reality will feel normal, and you will be OK again. I promise.

Hang in there, much love.

Ill light a candle for her tonight.

I am so sorry for your loss. I've lost a few people in my time, and it hits different every time.

When my mom went I didn't even cry (and hated myself for it for a while), it felt inevitable but also kind of a shock - like someone who gets shot but keeps running because they haven't felt it yet. It hit me a month later like a ton of bricks. My dad was different, I was the one who had to make the call to take him off of life support, but I know it's what he wanted, so I kind of got the initial stages of grief ahead of time. Then a few years later I lost my best friend of more than 25 years who I had roomed with for like 15, and it just fucking wiped me out then and there. I heard him fall and by the time I got out of bed and got to him all that was left was the sound of his last breath escaping. But worse still, I then had to call his mother. The sound that woman made when I told her that her last living child was dead (his brother had killed himself a few years prior) just tore it out of me. We sat on my front porch smoking and crying our damned eyes out until the sun came up.

You're going to feel like shit for a while. That's just love. That will never go away and you don't want it to, but it will get easier to carry. If you need someone to talk to please do not hesitate to DM me.

My condolences, we can only take it one day at a time

I have a grandfather I'm afraid of losing. He is the last person holding my extended family together. Once he's gone there won't be any big family gatherings ever again, and I may never see many of these people ever again.

It was Christmas, Halloween, and the 4th of July, birthdays, anniversaries, Super Bowl parties and such where it wouldn't be uncommon to have over 100 people at grandpa's house

I've already heard my uncles warring over who is going to get the house after grandpa's gone and ain't nobody going to be showing up for their parties

It will be a sad end to an era

Sorry for your loss. I've had a few close family die recently. Don't think you have to understand it right now. You don't need to seek out your grief, it'll come up and bite your ass sometime. You're not a bad person because you're not in tears right now. It doesn't make it better if you cry for the next six weeks. Carry the persons memory with you and take it out and look it over sometimes. It might make you cry, it might make you laugh, I think the important thing is it makes you remember.

Good luck!

Alzheimer's can result in pre-mourning, since most of the person's personality can be gone long before they die. It can result in a particularly strange mourning process. It sucks.

Sorry for your loss.

Death is big. You only really grasp it in pieces at a time. And honestly, if you spend too long contemplating the meaning of death, you actually start to get physically uncomfortable.

All of life is progressively getting to know death better and better, until you know it on a personal level. Try to fit some fun, good times, and happiness between all that. Maybe some fulfillment, pride, and Ideally love too.

Acknowledge death, fear death, and respect death... but try not to dwell on death, there is a reason every religion has their own fun idea of what death is. It's pretty much the main point of religion, to make death less scary, and easier to think about. If you prefer that, and can get yourself to believe a religion instead of the truth, I very much encourage it. Just make sure to also follow the one simple rule above all else: "Don't be a jerk".