Have seen this IRL. The only part that's inaccurate is that the poop would be a single object rather than an area effect.
this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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So a shitgun instead of a poostol.
Lmao. I'd only scrolled far enough to see the top half, paused and though to myself; "you could probably calculate how fast that shit was going, using the speed of gravity as a reference."
Then I scrolled to see it had already been done...
Just one spherical poo? Lucky
Assume spherical poo in a vaccuum.
Why is it accelerating??
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
Oh. Well when you put it that way.
God, your response to them responding to your valid question with that silly-ass copypasta just made it way funnier! I badly needed that laugh you gave me. I genuinely thank you. :)
New copypasta
Old copypasta. 🥲
Wubby7
They stick 9.81 in for acceleration, so that is presumably for gravity.
Its vertical component, due to gravity
2.5m/s is quite fast
Is 800mm an average distance from a dresser to a wall? Presumed you are changing baby from the front of the dresser, I reckon that makes sense.
I am currently shitting. Next time, maybe we see if velocity changes after 45 years?
Where's the math that accounts for splatter after the shitball makes impact with the wall? Will 800mm distance be enough to keep the dresser from getting shit all over it?
Is this Blippi? Where’s the friend?
Was this experiment on the moon ?