What place do I get teleported to? If I'm teleported to the same place on Earth, then I just fell down several meters into a swamp and am probably going to die here.
this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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You teleported to somewhere safe and private, you won't fall to your death and nobody will see you lol.
I would teach London children the most obnoxious brain rot slang from today as a laugh.
The butterfly effect of that would be weird because all of our brain rot slang would change then.
Exactly, that's the fun part. Would it get worse, or swing the other way, having kids talk like uppity old money aristocrats?
Wouldn't I be in like empty space?
1375? Die from malaria, I guess? Be eaten by an alligator? Or oh no, hasten the demise of the Tocobaga with my exotic biology? Either they would kill me or get me sick, or vice versa. Also, fall on my ass when my house disappeared.
I would follow the river to the bay, I guess, and see if I could find anyone, or anything I might be able to eat.
I would kill everyone I meet with the plagues I carry which I'm immune to.
I would warn the Native Americans about the Europeans
Europeans would show up and my Native American homies would be armed with cartridge rifles, six shooters and a crank rotary machine gun.
I would try for better, but I think there just wouldn't be the time for fine tooling more advanced fire arms would require. Even getting all that going before I croak is going to take a lot of ambition.
Also assuming they don't think I am some evil spirit that they quickly kill when I demand industrial metal facilities be constructed.
Oh, they would probably also have penicillin before the white man, so that would be a major advantage.
Congratulations, you just brought diseases to the new world.
Die because my medications haven’t been invented yet.
Or be murdered because I’m not christian
Double entry accounting system.
I'm an accountant by trade. The double entry system wasn't invented until the 15th century.
I could account for any lords various assets, goods, and livestock in an efficient, reliable and accurate manner
Being too early to market something also leads to failure
It's never too early to efficiently count your sheep!
This is very A Connecticut Yankee in King Author's Court
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Connecticut_Yankee_in_King_Arthur%27s_Court
I hated that book. So pretentious.
Die as you forgot to teleport me to where the earth was at the time.
Otherwise I guess my main knowledge that could be useful is some basic first aid. Secondary to that, a little bit of electrical stuff.
Assuming you live in the west, you want to get executed by the catholics?
Well, staying in the same location? I'm in the US, so... I'd probably try to get writing invented. To my knowledge, besides some of the Central American empires, there's no evidence or even claim of there having been any kind of writing or system for making information durable. I know there's a lot of clay here, I'm pretty sure we could bake clay tablets to store down information. There's also tule reeds here that were already being extensively used, and those could probably be made into a kind of paper as well. As to whether the people would accept that, I have no fucking idea at all; what we know of the California tribes suggests they were always semi-nomadic, but that's all very well into the post-contact period and much of what we know was written down by the Spanish while being the biggest bastards they possibly could to the locals. I dunno how useful record-keeping would be to a nomadic people. It's also entirely possible the people would be like "uh, yeah, we know how to write, dummy", and it was just lost in the multiple waves of pandemics.
I think probably something that -might- be achievable is figuring out glass. I'm mostly sure that if the native Americans had glass, we would have seen some sign of it in the archeological record by now. I'm sure some smarty pants is going to come along and tell me "you can't just throw sand in a kiln and make glass, you need a special kind of sand blah blah blah and here's 99 reasons why that won't work". Yeah, you're probably right, but I don't know any better, so I'd still definitely try. I also remember reading that clear glass was a thing figured out near Venice when they started adding grass ash or some shit to the sand, so I'd definitely experiment with that, too. Glass is just dead useful -and- pretty, so I'm fairly confident I'd get some acceptance that way.
I would say metal smithing, but the only metal deposits nearby that I know of are mercury and gold. You can't make nails and tools out of mercury and gold.
Also, maybe water wheels? To my knowledge, we have no record of native Americans using water wheels for work (I.e. grinding corn or acorns into flour). I think if I managed to put a basic water wheel together, I'd be pretty popular.
I know thousands of songs. Also, musical instruments like the saxaphone haven't been invented yet.
Oh I think you're the first person to suggest music! That is a really good idea, provided you don't die of dysentery of course.
Here are some good time travel stories.
To Say Nothing Of The Dog. In the future, time travel is organized like the Army. The problem is that the actual travel causes a serious case of 'jet lag.' All the agents act like they are half-drunk and sleep deprived.
The Big Time. Two alien races are fighting a time war that spans all planets in the universe. Earth is a minor backwater, but the fighting is just as deadly as anywhere else. A few soldiers and entertainers are catching a few moments respite in a R + R center when the War crashes in on them.
Predestination. A man is offered a chance to find and kill the guy who ruined his life. All he has to do is trust the stranger who is making the offer.
I guess I could make a name as a mathematician, though that'd depend where the fuck I'm snapped to.
I'd like to warn the Incas to not trust anyone with white skin, kill them all on sight and NEVER let any of them get within 100km of Potosi, but I don't think I'd be anywhere near the Andes either way.
I'm on the Gregorian calendar, 650 years ago is the year 1375. I'm in North Carolina, so if I were to snap back in time at my present location I would be a blue eyed white guy in pre-contact North America. And while I think I'm an above average candidate for the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court scenario I'm not realistically able to start "from scratch." I'd probably make it the summer on forage and my own body fat. I don't picture encountering the natives going particularly well, for me or them. I'm not sick and I'm vaccinated against a lot of shit but watch I'll give them 6 centuries worth of influenza updates.
I don't think it would help that much being plunked down in 14th century England; we're talking Geoffrey Chaucer's lifetime here, to them I'd sound insane. Modern English is a few hundred years off. If they didn't trepan me to let the demons out of my skull and I didn't die of smallpox, I'd try to invent the electric motor 500 years early and be burned for heresy or some shit.
The only non-delusional answer lol
Yeah, I'm here thinking my ass in America pre Columbian exchange is not doing well. Maybe if I make it clear somehow I do not want to do anything but help I could...idk, be part of a native tribe and maybe give them a slight help to the upcoming horrors for them?
It's not going well for anyone.
This is something I often wonder about, what could one person even do with all of today's common knowledge? You can't very well just invent the printing press and have the same impact as Gutenberg - you need something what the few people who can read would, and most people can't translate the bible from Latin into renaissance German and/or don't know enough about the catholic church to write scathing remarks on it like Luther.
You can write and read - that's something. Maybe more importantly, you can do math with arabic numerals - boom, easy accounting job. With a bit higher education, you may even just invent calculus once more. You know how long it took for people to figure out you can put pi on the number line? Proving all the formulas in your head is the hard stuff, but you have a head start just by knowing them. We all clown on the wormhole explanation with the paper, but it does prove Euclid wrong 400 years early.
Ah, and you can just become a medical genius by using soap and bandages - "do no harm" is better than most.
Heres the thing though, you can write, but can you write and read Middle English from the 1300's? There are some similar words but its a very different language than what you and I are used to, it's another 200 years before Shakespeare and most English speakers struggle with even as far back as that.
I just asked AI to write my above comment in Middle English
"Lo! Her is the thinge, but thou mayst writen, canstow yet writen and reden in the Englissh of the thrittene hundred yere? Certes, ther ben som wordes ylich, but it is ful divers from that which thou and I ben y-used to. Two hundred wynters yet moot passen er Shakspere shal come, and fele folk that speken now Englyssh han gret strif to undirstanden that tyme."
Even that is very modern-looking to this Chaucer enjoyer.
You probably can read middle English sooner than you can speak it. Like writing with a feather on parchment, I assume you don't just die and have time to learn.
Side note, I now want to translate all my emails to my supervisors into middle English
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Good thing I binge isekai anime
I'd use my knowledge of history, politics, psychology and science to become an influential advisor to powerful lords and help them conquer the world in exchange for living in luxury.
Anyone else a fan of Nate Bargatze?
Fly under the radar as much as possible, find a cute girl and settle down and have a lot of kids.
You will not be flying under any radars lmao
The second he opens his mouth they know something off. Dialects and languages did change a bit.
If you're around superstitious and xenophobic people things can get out of hand quickly.
Maybe you missed the "as much as possible" part
Maybe, but you did say you were going to find a cute girl. So you will be encountering some radars. I wish you the best of luck in this thought exercise
I find it hilarious that in even a thought experiment with no bearing on reality you always have people that will shit on your hypothetical fantasies.
Probably die
I'd die pretty quickly.
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