this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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By the numbers: 79% of respondents — college and graduate students around the country — said they don't use any dating apps even as infrequently as once a month.

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Because in college you’re basically in an extremely target rich environment.

[–] neptune@dmv.social 3 points 1 year ago

I think there was definitely a movement around the early 20 teens where women were adamant that dating would be on their terms. Cat calling and other outdated practices were falling away and women were accelerating these cultural changes by trying to divorce their daily life from their dating life. Dating apps were a huge part of this.

But now a new generation and I think boys behave themselves at least a little better? And now I presume the wall between life and dating life is less necessary. Getting hit on, on the campus bus, is probably different than it was ten years ago.

My two cents as a straight, 33 year old.

[–] bernieecclestoned@sh.itjust.works -4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, these two are not mutually exclusive statements 😀

[–] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

The people that I know complain about it only giving them very superficial, short relationships. Then again, I met my girlfriend on a dating app ~7 years ago, so I don't use it anymore. If they work, they lose their user.

[–] Wooster@startrek.website 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I suspect there are two key deterrents to using dating apps:

1: Folks that are dating material ultimately leave the pool… leaving those that… aren’t. The longer the cycle continues the more undatable fill the population of date app users. So, by no fault of the dating app itself, the vast majority of potential dates suck.

2: Then we get into the conflict of interest. Dating apps don’t want you to find your true love. They want engagement and subscription fees. It’s in their best interest to give you a substandard experience.

[–] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

The longer the cycle continues the more undatable fill the population of date app users.

Your first assumption relies on the fact that the only way people leave dating apps is if they find a relationship.

I would contend that the bigger group are those that have no luck on the apps and leave as it is a waste of time.

This works better with your second assumption that I agree with. The apps don't want you to be successful, they want you to reman on the platform. So finding an actual connection is not their goal.

[–] spacecowboy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Dating apps are designed to make money, not help you hook up. They want you on the site, seeing ads, or paying for more likes. Their profit rests on you NOT getting a date.

[–] this_is_router@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People using dating apps don't have time to answer questionnaires. You need to invest time to find your soulmate do'h!

[–] Salamendacious@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's anecdotal but a lot of people I work with have been giving up on the app scene. They're obviously older than the average college student.

[–] this_is_router@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel the same way. Personally, I can't muster up excitement about getting to know someone just by looking at their last vacation pictures. I believe that a meaningful connection can only be established by meeting in person.

Going on 20 dates, only to end up feeling indifferent about everyone, in the hopes of eventually meeting someone I truly connect with, makes me feel like a grumpy old man.

[–] Salamendacious@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm so glad that I never had to deal with the app scene. It sounds both exhausting and boring.

[–] this_is_router@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

I robs your soul like facebook on steroids. I'm glad I got over the idea of finding someone online based on some self describing texts and vacation pictures.

I feel like even on tinder it's still the first impression that counts, but the first impression consists of meaningless bullshit, so even if you would connect with someone, the first impressions makes you loath meeting these peoples.

I am glad that I'm not the only one feeling like that. Fuck off tinder, bumble and the likes.