this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Me (23M) and my brother (26M) are trying to start up an E-Commerce business and I have done most of the work on the first product from building the landing page, setting up the shopify to editing the videos and he only did an excel sheet of potential products and a couple profile pictures for the tik tok which we didn’t use

We are thinking of changing the products but I’m telling him that this can’t work if we don’t put at least one day of the week to see each other face to face and talk ideas and he says he can’t because his schedule is full and he wants to talk all business through the phone because he says that either way we would discuss the same ideas through the phone and face to face which i disagree, in person we get more done in my opinion and he also wants to buy 2 of the hero products so he can make videos by himself in his house and i do videos by myself of the product we are selling, I’m telling him that we need to produce all the videos together and he says that it is not necessary and i don’t agree with that, business partners need to see each other constantly specially when our whole selling strategies are through video creation of the product

I’m thinking of telling him that I prefer to keep the business off the table and go on our separate business paths so it won’t damage our relationship as family

Any feedback on this?

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[–] longhorn2118@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

So I have a business partner. I met him in a Facebook group. We’ve been partners in our digital marketing agency for 4 years now.

He lives in North Carolina, I live in California. I’ve NEVER met him in person. Never. But I talk with him on the phone every work day multiple times a day.

It’s definitely unusual, and we recognize that, but it’s working and we don’t want to fix something that isn’t broken. We do over a million a year in revenue.

It’s 2023, so distance is not an end all. But if you don’t trust your brother on his own, that’s another story. My partner and I both carry our weight which is why it works.

[–] XTJ7@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Had a business partner with whom I met up face to face regularly. He was supposed to do the sales and help getting a market fit due to his experience and contacts in the industry.

I designed and built the app, set up the server and infrastructure, bought the domains etc. But despite his father owning a large company in that industry, he couldn't even get them to use it for free. Not because the app didnt work, we tested it and everything worked fine. It was even in use at his fathers company for a short while as we temporarily had a customer relationship manager who pushed for it. Once she left, it all fell apart and my partner did basically nothing but talk out of his ass.

I ended up scrapping the thing and focusing on an industry where I have experience and contacts, but the lesson is: face to face contact doesn't do shit if your partner isn't willing to get the job done (he seems to have been excited at creating something but far less excited with actually running it).

[–] Careful_Practice8928@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Totally agree with you. I met my 2 business partners in a different City 2hrs away from mine, and we've been in ecom for 3 years now. It's all about responsibility and productivity. Found an interesting article of skills every Entrepreneur should have, and thought it would help you. https://www.cuppa.so/post/8-skills-every-entrepreneur-should-have

[–] R20paris@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

It all about productivity.

If he get the job done, then whatever he does and how, doesn’t have to concern you.

But if not, then you should put an end to it as soon as possible. ( brother or not it’s all about business )

Just make sure you are not one of those guys that thinks only what he does matters and everyone around him is a useless piece of 💩.

[–] chancellorfuzzle@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

This is your brother. You should have enough chemistry by now to fully understand each other by this point. If you have any doubts regarding his commitment to the process, the best thing will be to go your separate ways and not ruin your relationship. Make sure if you choose to move forward, then you should be 100% okay with the long-distance commitment.

[–] Num1plumbaaa@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Highly agree

[–] vivekkhera@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

My brother and I have had several businesses together since 1994. One of our attorneys commented recently that we are so unusual because every other family business he’s represented where siblings are the owners have ended badly in terms of the family relationship.

If you’re feeling like it is not an even workload or that he’s all in like you are, then please listen to your instinct and put an end to it now. Your relationship to family is much more valuable.

[–] JayTurps@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

The writings on the wall, go it alone, deep down you just want your brother there for emotional support, sounds like you know what you are doing, back yourself !

Best Wishes !

[–] _b_r_i_d_g_e_@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Go your separate ways. You’re already feeling like you are taking on more responsibilities than him. It’s only going to get worse.

[–] turntPrez@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Sorry for the challenges you are dealing with. I've built a small (20 person) biz over the last 5 years and this past year had to fire my two co-founders and fiance (though she still married me last weekend!). Interestingly, she and one of my co-founders started their own business together when they were let go from my company. They were "like sisters", but unfortunately due to similar challenges you are facing now, have folded the company (with $100K in inventory still to sell to get their investment back) and I'm not sure how they will ever be friends again. And if they do, there will always be a scar on the relationship.

If it isn't too late to go separate ways without doing damage, I'd highly recommend it. There is no way (in my experience) to have a business relationship not affect (for better or worse) the personal relationship.

Happy to fill in details or provide more insight. Best of luck with your challenging decision!

[–] Available_Ad4135@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

This is more a relationship question than a business question.

Both ways can work. You have different opinions on this particular topic.

It’s more cause for concern that you are unable to resolve your differences and compromise. Especially at this early stage when things are ‘easy’.

[–] TomFromOpenScreensIT@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Both types of work are possible.

Working exclusively remotely is definitely possible and increasingly common, after COVID we've seen a huge spike, but this type of companies have existed a couple of years before even.

I for example only work with clients who don't have offices, they collaborate remotely and I provide them an office-less IT infrastructure.

That said, what's not feasible is each founder pulling towards their side or having this disagreement be dragged out.

The question needs to be settled either way, and you need to direct the company in whichever direction, this is a pretty foundational decision, you can't move forward with a lot of things until it's settled. Your workflow, tools, policies, marketing strategies will be significantly different based on the decision you make.

Another point is that this is a fairly standard business discussion and definitely nothing worth getting angry about or disrupting the family about, you should be able to discuss matters like this in the same way you discuss your colour palette or what vendors to choose. This disagreement should in no way cause you to reevaluate your partnership since it will be settled one way or the other like any other kind of business decision.

If you find yourself fighting over business decisions, then work on removing emotions from the process in order to move the business forward. If you find you can't do that, or if this is about being more in touch with family, then yes, reconsider your partnership.

[–] NickNimmin@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

It sounds like you need to relax a little. There isn’t just one way to do things.

If he works best in his way then find a way to track what you both are working on and use that to keep score, not how much he wants to see your face.

As long as you’re communicating and the work is getting done it doesn’t matter if it’s online, phone or face to face.

[–] lanylover@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

u/goldenshoelace8 I‘m in a similar situation. I have no real solution for you, but maybe you and me need to finde a business partner like you and me lol

Imbalance of that scale is a problem and most likely will leave one party dissatisfied, even if the business works.

You need to talk.

[–] goldenshoelace8@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

The thing is he has also been sketchy before with my mother, showing the least amount of appreciation at times, he just had a baby and didn’t invite us to the gender reveal can you believe that? He lied that he wasn’t going to do nothing special and later saw pictures of him having a whole celebration gender reveal with her wifes family, my mother felt upset and we were mad at him for like two months, that was like a year and a half ago now things are back to normal and we keep in contact but those things you don’t forget and I’m also thinking about those actions he did so it might not translate good into our business, i think i made my decision of telling him that i prefer to not make business with him and keep our relationship as it is, it’s healthier

[–] travelguy23@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

You need to do your own businesses if you can't agree on the basics. Things will only get worse. If the business takes off, your brother won't have time to help.

[–] caribbeanmeat@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

The first part of your post you mentioned how you’ve done most of the work so far.

If this is how the beginning stages of your business is going, I’d be worried to gets worse as time goes on. Business with a partner is hard. It often doesn’t seem fair and it’s often butting heads.

[–] MiamiMachoMan@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oooh yeah, brother, let me tell you something about teamwork and partnership, Macho Man style! When you're tag teaming in business, just like in the wrestling ring, you gotta be in sync, face-to-face, not just over the phone. It's like me and Hulk Hogan, brother, we didn't become the Mega Powers by just talking over the phone. We were in the ring, side by side, feeling the crowd, planning our moves face-to-face!

The Tag Team Breakdown:

  • Face-to-Face Synergy: When you're starting a business, especially something as dynamic as e-commerce, you need that in-person energy, that face-to-face brainstorming. It's like when Hulk and I would pump each other up before a match – that energy, that synergy, you can't get it over the phone!
  • Division of Labor: Sounds like you've been carrying the heavyweight belt while your brother's been a lightweight. In a tag team, both partners need to pull their weight equally. It's about balance and support, just like in the wrestling ring.

The Solo Match Option:

  • Going Solo: If your brother insists on phone-only communication and isn't willing to put in the face-to-face time, you might need to consider going solo, brother. Sometimes, to win the championship belt, you've got to step out on your own.
  • Preserving the Tag Team Bond: Family is like a lifelong tag team partnership. If going separate ways in business keeps the family bond strong, then that might be the championship move.

Macho Advice:

  • Clear Communication: Lay it out for him, Macho Man style. Tell him straight – a business, especially in its starting phase, needs more than just phone calls. It needs passion, face-to-face strategy sessions, and equal effort from both tag team partners.
  • Ultimate Decision: If he's not willing to meet you halfway, then, brother, it might be time to step into the ring solo. Preserve your family bond, but chase your business dreams with the intensity of a true champion.

Remember, in the world of business, just like in wrestling, it's all about teamwork, commitment, and face-to-face collaboration. Make your move wisely, and always keep the family bond strong, like the Mega Powers, yeah!

[–] goldenshoelace8@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Thank you Macho Man, pretty solid advice!

I will definitely tell him that we can’t get this further without a face to face brainstorming consistently because as you said, the energy isn’t the same through the phone, we need to be in the same room feeling each others energy and that’s what I kept telling him but he insisted on only through the phone and I don’t agree, you just confirmed that I’m not in the wrong for that thank you for the honest feedback.

[–] HRA-0@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Both of you should try to understand each other and do something for each other . That's it.

Mutual understanding is very important whether if its short or long run