this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 163 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Fake: Girl is interested in anon

Gay: Anon isn't interested in girl

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 33 points 1 month ago

Girl is interested in fries.

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 month ago

The prophecy

[–] onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

This is the one lmao

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 116 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Fries are usually not going to get you laid. But sharing a couple fries would’ve improved anon’s likability among that girl and maybe her friends, which is probably not a bad thing.

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 73 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Nah, she gotta get her own fries!

[–] marduk@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Haha, dumbass! You're great 👍🏻

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're not getting my fries!

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] dumbass@quokk.au 14 points 1 month ago

Do I look like a buffet? Get your own fries!

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago

Why risk anons virginity like that?

[–] oce@jlai.lu 41 points 1 month ago

Is that worth losing fries?

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But then you go for it and end up with the girlfriend that's "not hungry" till you get your food and then she asks to borrow a fry. And you're like "how's ya gonna borrow a fry, you gonna give it back?"

[–] WhiteBurrito@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

It's missing a word, but if you know the reference, you're hearing the whole quote lol

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No, fuck that! Fast food runs in the AMs while wasted build character, he did her a favour!

Plus those are MY fries until we're an item! You can have half of my burger, though...

[–] iowagneiss@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago

A person who cannot provide their own fries is not a viable or suitable mate. Anon made a prudent decision.

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 113 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Anon made the right call, she only wanted him for his fries, she would have been gone once the fries were gone.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 45 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yes officer this bait right here.

Edit: After further discussion, I don't think they were baiting.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] beveradb@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There was a post on here a few days ago which got a lot of visibility which was a screenshot and/or meme about some guy who massively overreacted to a seagull stealing one of his chips (aka fries in USian), grabbing the seagull by the legs and slamming it into a wall, killing it 😬

I suspect that's what this other person thought your comment was subtly referencing 😅

(for the record I'm British and have had seagulls steal my chips multiple times, they're super bold in the UK and it's really annoying tbh but anyone who reacts by killing one is a psycho)

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 2 points 1 month ago

Hmm I think I vaguely remember that post; definitely wasn't referencing it in my comment though.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well maybe your not bating.

Like a seagull. :/

Where did seagull come from, did you have a pet seagull?

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Seagulls are known for stealing food and running (well, flying) off with it.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, then, never mind, I thought you were referencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago

No worries, it happens lol.

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

bro they fly everywhere, nobody knows where a particular seagull came from. replace it with a pigeon if that's more appropriate to your location

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They’re just outside waiting for fries.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

~~Well, then never mind, I thought you were refencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.~~

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m not the person you were talking to, to be clear. 🤪

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Darnnit, I need to double check these things.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Haha no worries I do the same thing all the time.

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Maybe shes acturally multiple seagulls in a trenchcoat

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

omg I'm using this next time someone asks for my food

[–] lemmy12369@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago

It would been that meme where the top panel: guy has fries Bottom panel: eww hr he has no fries

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 73 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anon wouldn't have gotten jackshit even if she gave this woman a french fry buffet, his moves were based and chadpilled.

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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just because you're horny, doesn't mean I'm horny. I just bought food. I'm hungry, not horny.

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Hansae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 weeks ago

Wtf js cottgage xore

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good on you, Anon. She was obviously drunk and would be unable to consent.

Who knows, maybe she has high blood pressure and can't properly consent to the fries.

[–] Stormdancer@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Girl only wants one thing, and it's disgusting!

[–] sulgoth@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well they're McDonald's fries so you can definately do worse.

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago

Never fall prey to the bait!

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago

Yeah you're not touching the fries before touching genitals, just saying.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Gotta try friesmaxxing

Fake: this didn't happen

Gay: annon doesn't hang out with women

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 weeks ago

Honestly, I'd probably find the situation equally weird myself. Go away, I'm hungry.

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