This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Well and the amazing sloppy toppy pudding poppy.
You know... I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?
(NSFW?) spoiler
___
This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up one day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I'd do is put a bullet through my brain.
Would you though? Assuming that you woke up as putin, would Putin really blow his own brains out?
Or would you walk out of the window in the highest building you could find as is tradition?
Yea that's a decent point. Might be worth sticking around a bit to kill off some collaborators so some other piece of trash doesn't take over the position as soon as Putin's out of the way.
I think neither. You'd be like, "I'll just be Putin, but...you know...as a good guy."
knock on door
"Sir, the gaggle of gymnasts you requested is here and limbered up..."
I love how you think
Schrodinger's shlong.
"When a gift horse is munching on one's carrot, one must be very careful not to look it in the mouth." - Albert Confucius, 1969-04-20
Internet is fucked.
Yeah but this is old fashioned internet fucked and i approve.
Always has been 🌎👨🚀🔫👨🚀
What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!
Kidnapping by your local terrorist sex workers(they are trying unionize).
Why did they get ionized in the first place?
This reminds me of my ex who liked sucking dick so much i swear she sucked out my soul a couple times.
My wife has sadly never gotten close to those levels of sloppy toppy, i would never tell her tho lol i love her too much and she tries :p.
I definitely peaked too soon in the receiver of blowjob stakes. First real GF genuinely loved to suck dick, she lived for that shit and I swear I had more and better krgasms during that year than the rest of my life since.
Oh well, better to have loved and lost eh
My very first blowjob was the best thing ever. I've never disliked them afterwards, but I can relate to what you are saying.
None of my other girlfriends had been into it, which was fine. I would never pressure someone into doing something that they didn't want to do. Then I met this woman and we hit it off almost immediately. On our fist date I brought her a Red Rose and did my best to behave like a gentleman. This impressed her and she asked me to 'wait until she was more comfortable with me' before having sex, to which I happily agreed.
Over the next week I saw her several times, and each time our make out sessions would get more and more steamy. Finally just a week later it had been enough time. Turns out she was kind of a Nympho and waiting was just as hard for her as it was for me. She texted me at work to let me know and asked me to pick her up after I got off. On the car ride to my place she made a speech about how I shouldn't expect blowjobs because she reserves that for very special people and she wasn't going to be just anybody's 'Blowjob Queen'. I said that was fine with me.
I was all gross and sweaty from working a full day, and when we got back to my place I told her I needed to hop in the shower real quick before we got busy. She said that it didn't matter to her and that she was ready to go. I insisted though because I didn't feel sexy being that sweaty. I have never washed myself faster in life, but less than 3 minutes after getting in the shower she opens the shower curtain and was standing there in a black see through negligee, asking me what was taking so long. That finally convinced me that I was clean enough so I hopped out of the shower and said just give me 30 seconds to brush my teeth.
You can probably guess what happened next. Standing there in the bathroom with toothpaste still in my mouth and brushing like a madman, she decided to be my Queen after all. It was so hot, no one in life has ever made me feel as attractive and wanted as she did that night.
I should have married her.
It’s unbelievably hot when you’re getting blown with enthusiasm though… Slurping away like my dick is the last ice cream cone they had at the store during an August heatwave is sublime, even a mid grade delivery gets upgraded when it’s clearly desired instead of a choice or foreplay obligation.
This blew my mind the first time I experienced it. I thought I just didn't like receiving head for the longest time, because none of my past girlfriends really liked doing it and my pleasure tends to be pretty empathetic. Then I "dated" a woman in an open relationship/swinger situation who actively wanted my dick in her mouth most of the time. The first time she blew me (and honestly also most times after that too) she managed to get me into a full on autistic sensory overload state, like to the point that I was forgetting to breathe. It worked out super well for me because that made her feel like a sex goddess, and she really liked repeating that experience. It was strange because like, I've never felt more submissive in my life than when she had me in her mouth. She could turn me into a lump of playdough with a hopelessly misfiring central nervous system, and I was entirely at her mercy when that happened. I'd still make ruinous life decisions to spend another night in her bed lol
Speaking from a purely analytical ace/sex-repulsed position:
Removing the blindfold can only at best ruin the prize you’ve already got. You remove the blindfold and find out the best beej in the world comes from Supreme Fellator Donald J. Trump? No ma’am, there is no coming back from that. Leave it on.
I don't give a shit if it's mother Theresa slobbing my job, as long as I get their number and they're game to do it again.
Call me bb.
Of course I'm taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!
I'm pretty sure I'm completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don't peek or ask what's up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you're getting the best blowjob of your life.
Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it's a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.
It's a thought experiment. How the fuck do you find yourself in the trolley problem?
You really need to consider the possibilities when deciding whether to take off the blindfold. I think it's reasonable to reflect a bit on how you got there to narrow the possibilities down somewhat.
I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.
This is kind of what I was thinking. In order for a situation like this to ACTUALLY happen, there is a complete, flat 0% chance that an attractive woman will be involved in any part of this unless you're doing some kind of roleplay thing with your partner in the bedroom. So by default its going to be Bill Cosby's dog or some shit.
How did Plato trap all those people in his cave?
asking the real questions here
what, you guys have never gone to a sex dungeon and slapped on a blindfold and sat in the Free Use chair??
Too little to gain and too much to lose in removing it. Just enjoy the experience and leave it at that
I'd bet money on the best bj imaginable is given by a femboy. Thus the blindfold comes off. I must see the love of my life.
I rip the blindfold off right as I ejaculate.
"WRONG MOVE, BUSTAH!"
Yer fond of me lobster, ain't ya!?
I mean, Willem Dafeo is such a legend... I think you'd be surprised at how many people prefer character over looks...
It would be me sucking your dick if you decide to take the blindfold off.
Hey hi how're you doing?
as an everyone hot bisexual I wanna see whose genitals I'm tounging next