this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 30 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You know... I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)
[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up one day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I'd do is put a bullet through my brain.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Would you though? Assuming that you woke up as putin, would Putin really blow his own brains out?

Or would you walk out of the window in the highest building you could find as is tradition?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

I think neither. You'd be like, "I'll just be Putin, but...you know...as a good guy."

knock on door

"Sir, the gaggle of gymnasts you requested is here and limbered up..."

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[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 45 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)
[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 30 points 6 days ago

Always has been 🌎👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

Yeah but this is old fashioned internet fucked and i approve.

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[–] Damage@feddit.it 39 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Of course I'm taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (7 children)
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[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd bet money on the best bj imaginable is given by a femboy. Thus the blindfold comes off. I must see the love of my life.

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Or one of those fish that clean the side of the tank in Chinese restaurants.

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I, uh, hope we're imagining the same kind of bear.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 6 days ago

And I hope we’re imagining the same kind of suckerfish.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 32 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Too little to gain and too much to lose in removing it. Just enjoy the experience and leave it at that

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 35 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I rip the blindfold off right as I ejaculate.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 64 points 6 days ago (4 children)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago

Hah! Joke's on you, I low key would...

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[–] Soulcreator@programming.dev 22 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I'm pretty sure I'm completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don't peek or ask what's up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you're getting the best blowjob of your life.

Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it's a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's a thought experiment. How the fuck do you find yourself in the trolley problem?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (12 children)

You really need to consider the possibilities when deciding whether to take off the blindfold. I think it's reasonable to reflect a bit on how you got there to narrow the possibilities down somewhat.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.

[–] MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

This is kind of what I was thinking. In order for a situation like this to ACTUALLY happen, there is a complete, flat 0% chance that an attractive woman will be involved in any part of this unless you're doing some kind of roleplay thing with your partner in the bedroom. So by default its going to be Bill Cosby's dog or some shit.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

what, you guys have never gone to a sex dungeon and slapped on a blindfold and sat in the Free Use chair??

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[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

How did Plato trap all those people in his cave?

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[–] KingGimpicus@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Well and the amazing sloppy toppy pudding poppy.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It would be me sucking your dick if you decide to take the blindfold off.

[–] orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 5 days ago

Hey hi how're you doing?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 26 points 6 days ago (3 children)

as an everyone hot bisexual I wanna see whose genitals I'm tounging next

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[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Kidnapping by your local terrorist sex workers(they are trying unionize).

[–] agelord@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Why did they get ionized in the first place?

[–] yucandu@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I could smell whether they were a man or a woman or a dog or a William Dafoe.

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[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I'm taking it off. I need to at least make sure it's a sane human and not a rabid pig that's going to spontaneously bite it off.

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[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Truly the greatest philosophical question ever conceived by man.

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