this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] princess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 196 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pokémon Universal Basic Income?!

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago

Pokémon Healthcare for All

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 106 points 1 week ago (6 children)

The declining birthrate is a feature, not a problem to be solved. We do not need more people. Capitalism needs more people. We don't.

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I mean, it absolutely can become a problem if an entire population turns elderly and Theres no young people to take over businesses, care for the elderly, maintain critical infrastructure.

Say what you want about the capitalist ideals that hold this time important,if the birthrate hit 0% we would be facing societal collapse

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

if the birthrate hit 0% we would be facing societal collapse

Bit strawmanny that. Nobody considers 0% a reasonable target.

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just an extreme example, but there are actual statistics out there I cant remember where a bunch of people much smarter than me figured out the "this is an emergency" percentage,

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 13 points 1 week ago

I mean... That societal collapse may be necessary at some point sooner rather than later- we need to downsize, we can chose to do it on our own terms or just run out the clock and smash into a brick wall. Maybe it's not a bad thing.

I'm semi serious. This isn't working out. I don't think so, and many with me don't think so. We can't keep doing things just because the system demands it, we should be doing what we decide is good and necessary first and then work towards those goals, instead of just doing more of everything and hope that it will magically turn out for the best.

I am aware of the problem space here and the high cost and risk of dramatically changing course and our way of governing societies, but if we don't, those problems will not be solved or diminish and we'll have to deal with it anyway. Capitalism will not save us.

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[–] TastyWheat@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

Pokemon Smash

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"We're releasing a Vaporion that can get pregnant"

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

You cat the outer shell, and find a Chinese sweatshop worker inside

[–] saimen@feddit.org 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

PokemonFamilyFriendlyWorkingConditionsAndFreeDaycare?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Declining birthrates will save the planet. There's already more people than we can sustainability support.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 130 points 1 week ago (11 children)

We CAN sustain everybody we have now. It's just billionaires have decided it's more profitable to let a huge section of society suffer. The more suffering for us, the more profit for them. But you have to balance it, so it doesn't lead to revolt.

Thats what ends suffering. Not decreased birthrates, but instead death and revolt of those holding back food and shelter from those that need it, so they can raise prices on unsold units.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Not so sure, we are pulling resources out of the earth at a ridiculous rate. Even with green energy we are still reliant on mining for everything. Goods, fertilizer, the stuff for solar panels. We're going to run out of easy to access stuff sooner or later.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Degrowth is only an option after the dismantling lf capitalism. We are pulling unreasonable and unsustainable amounts of resources from the earth. This should be ended but that cannot be done while those resources are owned by capitalists who must by the nature of capitalism expand that extraction infinitely. If we want sustainability through the reduction of wasteful and unnecessary use of resources we need a system that is not predicated on infinite growth in a finite system. We can sustain ourselves and the environment, just not like this.

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[–] mastertigurius@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (9 children)

There's actually more than enough resources to go around, but enormous amounts are lost to waste, corruption, inequality and greed. The world isn't actually overpopulated, but over-urbanized. If it was made more feasible for people to live in the districts, more decentralised and with less waste of resources, human society would look very different.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago

Why that direction? Intuitively I'd imagine stuffing the humans into cities would allow more mass transit, fewer cars, more economies of scale, and more area left over for nature. So more like Singapore, less like Texas.

Has anyone ever done scientific research on this question?

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[–] marcos@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It looks like the world can support the current population. Barely.

But yeah, low birth rate is not something that must be solved right now. And it will solve itself eventually. We should be working into making people comfortable, but if people think their current situation isn't good enough to have children, just shut the fuck up and let them be.

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hard to prove, but even the idea that the world can barely support the current population is likely just propaganda trying to reinforce a scarcity mindset.

We could probably pack nearly everyone in the entire world in to an area the size of the United Kingdom, and most could be living better lives than they do now. Population Density comparable to New York City would get you around 7 billion people. Obviously, we can do better than that, but just trying to put it into perspective.

Even for agriculture, you could support the current population with what we've got and a lot more if that was your priority. There are dramatic gains to be made by reducing or eliminating meat and unless we made some new unfortunate discoveries that would 100% get you there, but you might not even have to. We're strong into theory territory and might have to focus on prioritizing fertile land for agriculture but having everyone in the world eat like an average american would likely be doable at current levels if we actually wanted to prioritize that.

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

"But line must go up."

[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Not actually true, unless your means of supporting people includes provisions for the extravagances of carbon-based energy and huge amounts of inefficiency everywhere in the supply chain.

If we want to carry on with capitalism as we know it now, yes. And you know it's going to be the elderly, sick, disabled, among the working class population that need to go first. You know, those who can't be forced to work. It's not the poor working class populations who wealthy right-wing policy makers are asking to have more babies.

The world is already on track for around 10 billion people anyway, because there are already enough young people in developing nations who we expect to have families of their own in the next few decades.

So good thing we could carry that many people sustainably if we get our shit together.

Not that I'm against Pokemon inspired sexy times between consenting adults.

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[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hope they release Pokemon guillotine next

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nintendo is not going to like what I do next...

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[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

Fuck Pokémon.

Interpret that how you wish, lol

[–] manigordo@lemy.lol 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Did you know that Vaporeon....

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon.

Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued.

Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon.

A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance.

Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc;

It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take d**k of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

[–] zikzak025@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do I un-read something?

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

You have to retroactively do what I did and cripple your attention span to a point where if you see any piece of text longer than a few sentences, your brain just automatically skips past it

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[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 23 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Unclear if you want:

Pokemon Fuck

Or

Pokemon Monk

[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Why not both? Just make them the same generation

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 week ago

Pikachu, I fuck you!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (4 children)

It's only a problem for our species. And, only for future potential members of our species. The declining birth rate isn't going to hurt anyone alive today. Not even billionaires, not in any way that matters.

Overall, the Earth would be much happier and peaceful without us. We're not special, we're just selfish.

Finally, probably, even in the worst human-caused catastrophe, at least some pockets of humanity would survive. Again, though, not that it really matters.

TLDR; Don't worry about it. It's no one's problem to solve. We didn't ask to be born, and none of us owe our species anything.

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[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

[–] BootyEnthusiast@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I didn’t fuck my Vaporeon. I didn’t cum on my Vaporeon. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my Vaporeon. I’ve never done anything weird with my Eveelutions. I promised myself I wasn’t going to make apology videos after last years thing so I’m just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My "I didn't fuck my Vaporeon" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the T-shirt.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's silly. Can't they read?

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[–] greenbit@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Cabbage_Pout61@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] BilSabab@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

TIL there's a game called Pokemon Sleep. My life will never be the same.

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[–] oopsgodisdeadmybad@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you wanna increase birth rates, take 100% of all the billionaire's money (not a "reasonable tax amount" and spread it to everyone else.

I'm more than willing to just let them be literally penniless (and disqualified for welfare) if the world will benefit from it. And it will.

They don't deserve an honest living, they deserve a solitary confinement cell.

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[–] ApeNo1@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Gotta poke 'em all!

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pokemon x Luigi crossover?

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[–] Sharlot@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Pokémon GO: touch grass ✅ Pokémon Sleep: touch pillow ✅ Now we just need Pokémon Rent so we can afford kids 😂

[–] puchaczyk@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago
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