this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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3447 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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all 34 comments
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[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Mark this nsfw plz, due to the pfp in the image

[–] seggturkasz@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Do you have hands and a stable internet connection?

You could start gardening, there are a lot of tutorials online. And its so nice to fuck among flowers.

[–] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 8 points 6 days ago

Meet me at the Eiffel tower. I'll be the one carrying 5 litres of lube.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Same here. Also having a catheter for 4 weeks after surgery on my urethra so also can't get out of the house and can't have sex or jerk off. The longer I have this situation, the more woodies I get at night, which hurt and wake me up. I'm 2 weeks in, 2 more weeks to go. I'm boooooored!

[–] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago

That's fucking rough. Can't they like give you anti-horny pills or something? Shit

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I want to believe that pfp is a woman but I have a good feeling it’s a bussy

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Were ye brave enough twould make nae a difference.

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] an0nym0us_dr0ne@europe.pub 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Have you ever considered starring in a music video? Some of those are filled with bored and horny looking women. And they often have a swimming pool, so you can have a quick dip before you head home.

If you want to do anything else, you'll probably need to learn some skills. Or use some, if you already have them.

[–] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 days ago

Go out for a 10 km run

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago

I tend to suggest Kobold AI instead of healthy human interaction.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 1 points 6 days ago
[–] fonix232@fedia.io 59 points 1 week ago

Have a wank, have a Kit Kat. Rinse, repeat.

I can help with the latter, got 12 tonnes of the stuff as a deal recently

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] M137@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm a chef man
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have you considered joining the military industrial complex?

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yes, I decided I'd rather do just about anything else.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago

Well then there's no pleasing you

engage in manual labor

[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

found the 23 year old with no bitches.

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] DarkSirrush@piefed.ca 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Get a better instance, .ml censors swears.

[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Wait, some instances fucking do that? Wow.

[–] robotica@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They're 26 now, if their username is their birth year

[–] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Still no bitches tho.

[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Shake it shake it shake it shake it shake it feel good

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

Write fanfiction.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 1 points 1 week ago