this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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xkcd #3257: Beam Pipe

Title text:

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom

Transcript:

Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com

Source: https://xkcd.com/3257/

explainxkcd for #3257

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[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 78 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Never mind that their thumb is now an anti-thumb.

[–] wieson@feddit.org 44 points 3 days ago

The only person that can count to -1

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 36 points 3 days ago

One two three four, would you like to play thumbonuclear war?

[–] Ulvain@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 days ago (3 children)

You have to be careful with that logic, or born again right wing christian groups will go nuts. Lemme explain.

If

Christ is everywhere

Then

Christ is in the large Hadron collider.

And if

[stuff] inside the collider becomes anti-[stuff]

Then:

--> The LHC creates the Antichrist.

!!

[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Then The Antichrist and Christ touches and is turned into energy, and levels half of Switzerland.

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

And think what that would do to the snow sports industry.

[–] cockmushroom@reddthat.com 2 points 3 days ago

Oh no, they'd have to move the wef to monaco

God, it would be funny to see people protesting based on this.

[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Today’s satire is tomorrow’s debate topic.

[–] Ulvain@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

I wish i could push back on that by saying no one would be dumb enough to make that argument non satirically, but...

[–] 000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago

Never shall they twiddle

[–] bright@piefed.social 47 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] cockmushroom@reddthat.com 11 points 3 days ago

The mind is willing, but the flesh is bruised

[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Reads more like a clear no? Even with an actual person who experienced it?

[–] Tja@programming.dev 4 points 3 days ago

But is powerful as hell for that brief moment!

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 24 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Imagine backing up and shoving that in your butt.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It would literally give you ass cancer.

[–] JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 3 days ago

Oh no, you wouldn't even have time to get cancer. That shit'll just straight up kill your cells then and there.

[–] topherclay@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

The hose scientists are like "hmm the particles stopped flowing, there must be a kink."

[–] Telemachus93@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 days ago

Let's make anti-shit!

[–] 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I use a sprayer (pictured) to water my tomatoes. Maybe the scientists could adapt something like that for their collider? BTW what happens when you put the collider on the "mist" setting?

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Oh, like covering the end of the hose, lol

I could be wrong but I don't think those particles are largely effected by that type of pressure.

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I loved drinking from the beam pipe as a kid

[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

Oh man, LMAO

Best post and thread I've seen in a long time!

And just when I needed it.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Behold... The Extra-Large Hadron Collider!

[–] zwerg@feddit.org 2 points 3 days ago

Hell, let's go American sizes... XXXL Hadron Collider!

Is that like the water jet from the swimming pool? Can I masturbate with it, too, or will it melt my nads into a gooey paste? I'm gunna try either way, I just wanna know what to expect.