this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 88 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Protip: if you can drink really high pH water you'll only have to do this for one day

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That stopped being water long ago

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey, it’s still in aqueous solution.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Sorry, I can't understand you with that gaping, smoldering puddle where your lower jaw and esophagus used to be. Can you repeat that?

[–] idegenszavak@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

whatever kills you makes you stronger!

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago
[–] bridgeburner@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Why tf would drinking alkaline water be good for you? I believe it would be bad for u in the long-term, cos that would make ur body produce more stomach acid since it constantly gets neutralized, or am I wrong here?

[–] Duranie@leminal.space 27 points 1 month ago

This one always makes me crazy. Our stomachs work to keep an acidic environment for our protection and digestion.

Hey! Maybe I should sand off the skin on my body to get more vitamin D when I sunbathe! 🫪

[–] ComradeRachel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s marketing bs because there is pseudoscience that the cause of cancer and other illnesses is from acids and alkaline water will prevent you from those illnesses even though it’s completely bunk and push by the same people who think essential oils can heal you too

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Would it be wrong to offer someone like this a spoonful of lye? Its alkaline...

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Before or after you cut their face off?

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

After, obviously. Gotta keep the lips unscarred.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago
[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Just add a little squirt of lemon for flavour.

[–] Smeagol666@mander.xyz 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that you, Gwyneth? Is this me?

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Got it in one!

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[–] Jaycifer@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It can be handy in the short term. After a few days of greasy festival food my gerd was acting up (it was worth it), so I got some alkaline water to sip on the long drive home, and it helped keep things a little calmer. Long term though there’s no reason for it.

[–] DrWorm@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Wouldn’t a Tums be just as effective? And cheaper?

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It is good for reflux, as it helps to remove acidity from the esophagus.

But after it gets to the stomach and meets your stomach acid, it doesn’t matter. It’s not gonna change stomach acidity or pH level in intestines, but can help with reflux symptoms and avoid esophagal erosion (which can lead to cancer).

So it’s something that is useful, but for different reasons than most people think.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You really have a problem with the alkaline water and not cutting someone's face and sewing in place of yours?

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[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not sure the daily sun will be good for my sewn-on face. Better get extras.

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[–] forgetful_fox@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

You want to take his face... Off.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Beat me to it.

[–] Sarcasmo220@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

High pH water is a deal breaker for me

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] normalentrance@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

It's basic...

Opposed to acidic. I'll see myself out.

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Alkaline water with a bit of lemon in it!

https://youtu.be/rBQhdO2UxaQ

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

no sugar

I ded

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 8 points 1 month ago

Switch? I'll take your exercise while you take my mandatory 30 min sun part?

[–] Brummbaer@pawb.social 7 points 1 month ago

My water refuses to go over 7 pH , I blame the covid vaccines.

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I checked everything off but I can’t find high Ph water.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Can I use a staple gun? I’m not that good a sewing

[–] texture@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i havent read a book in 20 years but i read for hours each day

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Does capturing the person count as one of the workouts?

[–] pewpew@feddit.it 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

No sugar? Is that good advice?

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

It's probably meant to say"no excessive sugar" which isn't a lot

Probably no refined sugars; so no eating processed foods.

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I stopped reading after the 8+ hours of sleep part.

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you can't sleep 8 hours within a 30 day period, you should seek medical help. I can sleep 8+ hours in just a week, and I'm not even that good at sleeping.

[–] Cabbage_Pout61@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I'll one up you, I can sleep 8h in... Two days!

where's the part where I contemplate shooting myself for the 6th time this week

[–] Sergio@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

It puts the 70 spf lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again. 15 minutes before sun exposure.

[–] hubobes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Nice, almost there, need to work on that no sugar part, hard to not get some cravings.

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