Get a grapefruit or an orange, heat it for about 20 seconds in the microwave.
Then cut it in half, throw both halves in the garbage, and do like everyone else suggests and listen to your partner.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
-13 points (37.7% liked)
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Best reply I've seen so far!
By listening to their partner, practicing, and learning where the clit is
Start like a butterfly landing on a fragile flower... End like a bulldog eating oatmeal. Best advice I ever got, after spelling the ABCs
Sometimes dog at a water bowl is what is called for. But yeah listen to your partner to find what they like
I really don't think you deserve all those downvotes. Did all of those people really forget how it is to be a teenager?
I remember quite well my first time having sex and I remember how awkward I felt. There's no way in hell I would be confident enough to ask my partner for tips how to touch her. Obviously, it makes sense and it would benefit both of us, but it's just not that easy when you're only starting out learning about physical intimacy.
With that being said, talking with your partner is the right answer. Especially if it's more long-term, serious type relationship. You will both learn how to communicate and how to have awesome sex. It builds trust and understanding. It's great and I highly recommend that.
On the other hand I do realize there might be reasons why you're not exactly ready right now. And I think you should be able to get pretty good anyway. The advice will be pretty trivial though - just google that shit. I'm absolutely sure there is a ton of articles, forum and reddit threads, even instructional videos (just don't trust the typical fake porn). It's really not that complicated and you should have a pretty good idea how to start after doing some reading. Then you just need to pay attention to your partner's reactions as you go. The way she moves, breathes, moans, touches you. If she likes what you're doing it shouldn't be that hard to notice.
glhf 😉
Practice, and listening to their partner.
I would suggest trying to equivocate the vulva parts with penis parts and try to please them using this knowledge. Give the clit a tiny blowjob ya know?
Worth noting that some women have a small or permanently hooded clit, which needs a different sort of care ... for which, we circle back to listening to your partner!
Knowing the anatomy and getting into all the knooks and crannies is worthwhile too, since sometimes you find a spot the recipient didn't know about :-)
Worth noting that some women have a small or permanently hooded clit, which needs a different sort of care ... for which, we circle back to listening to your partner!
Thank you for adding on. Partner feedback is always the most important part!
The suggestions of listen to what your partner likes is good...
If you're completely lost on how to even start, write the alphabet with your tongue. It will make lots of different motions so she can see what she likes
As long as they're not more into right to left motions
Honestly? They probably don't.
You can only do so much book larnin about cunnilingus. You have to put the time in to get good, and there's no way around it.
What happens is that an eager teenager reads up on it (because that's a lot less likely to draw attention than videos, despite there being some decent videos), then becomes an adult that's good at it.
As others have said, yes she will most likely communicate with you, but if you are both young then she might also not know this yet either so encourage it. Sometimes its not even talking but she will guide you with how her body moves or her hands as well.
Another nice touch that I havent seen mentioned here is dont forget you have hands and using them will only help more. It doesnt have to be right away, but then start with each hand on each side and gently move them up and down the outside of her legs and work your way up to her chest. After that you can sometimes work one hand and finger into the mix while your still down there, but it's not necessary all the time and sometimes she may not even want that. Its all about listening.
Like all things involving sex, you get better at it the more you do it. Now with that said, do it like a dog at a water bowl. Trust me, she will love it!!!
Good god man
My first time in Junior High school I tried Sam Kinison's "Licking the Alphabet" method ("Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee") oh so long ago. Didn't work as magically as I hoped but she let me try again. Learned better technique over the decades since.