I bet money rest of the replies are along the lines of redditors going "oh so are you single?"
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
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"I also choose this guy's girlfriend" π
Maybe the remaining humans should only post QR codes on reddit. Then the bots would feel appreciated.
When I was 11 we got a puppy and I started walking this dog in the evenings. One evening I heard a girl screaming asking for help. A guy approached me and threatened me with a knife that he will stab me and my dog if I don't turn around. I turned around and the girl has probably been gang raped. Didn't tell anyone, but her scream haunts me at nights
You were a child, don't be hard on yourself.
I think there's at least a 78% chance that "happy cake day" person works for broadcast television news, as this spiel is right down their alley.
In local news, two toddlers are dead after the car they were riding in collided with another vehicle on I-60. (jovial laughter and big smile) And in other news, watch the exciting finale of Big Brother tonight on KXY-TV at 8 PM, all your favorites will reveal what they were really thinking and find out who will win! I'm so excited to find out.
It's so fake. It's actually quite disgusting. And they all do it.
Can we please stop that censoring of names of public social media posts.
worst thing I can't forget.
I watched a man get pulled into one of those giant wood chippers. he was trying to kick a branch into the horn and his pants got caught. before he could free himself it had pulled him in feet first.
nobody was around until we heard the screams. jesus...the screams were worse than you can imagine.
most people think screaming is like yelling, but it's not. the raw emotion and fear you can feel is something I'll never forget.
by the time we got it shut off, it was too late. everything past his navel was gone. his face was frozen in this grotesque mask that didn't even look human.
if that wasn't bad enough, the sounds his wife and father made when they were told were just as heavy as his were as he was dying.
Sorry to hear that. I've heard that scream too. A coworker got his foot chopped off and leg crushed by a hydraulic shearing machine. I can't describe the scream. It's a visceral and unintelligible scream and yet I knew exactly what they were trying to communicate. Fortunately he lived.
I worked at a place that rented them. Always knew they would kill you horribly at every chance they get. Crazy they'll just rent one to anyone.
Holy shit...
Oh my god I wasn't ready to read this
Man that ... Oof. Sorry you had to experience that, sounds traumatic AF.
Good PSA to not fuck around with wood chippers and equipment in general. Turns out that inanimate objects don't actually give a shit about you.
I'm genuinely sorry you experienced that.
Bot accounts don't get context
And the ~1300 people that thought that was a good comment to upvote?
Guess what? It's all bots
Bots all the way down
Dont look up, bot drones...
Well, that and the very typical reddit crowd that upvotes stuff like that.
Always thought they pushed the "cake day" trash.
That is an extremely reddit interaction.
So much this!!! blah blah blah blah blah blah saying the same thing but slightly different blah blah blah
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Edit 2: OMG I never thought Iβd get this many updoots.
Edit 3: a word
I also choose this lady's dead boyfriend
no. a extremely reddit one would be
'at least you had a boyfriend to murder himself in front of you'
Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, which is how I feel about my sister at least.
r/emo?
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
Wow this post blew up, how do I turn off replies?
"Honestly, he's TA and you should divorce him immediately. That kind of behavior is extremely toxic."
Nah, more like "what did you do to make him suicidal?"
'so you're single?'
I'm guessing she technically means ex-boyfriend.
Why? Necrophilia is a thing.
Those comments were the WORST. I canβt get an erection. Iβm glad thereβs no βedit: a wordβ βI also choose this guyβs dead wifeβ βI broke both of my arms, but my mom helped outβ etc. comments on this side of the fence. Good riddance!
[deleted] β’ 5y ago
Comment deleted by user
I don't see "both things can be true" or other equally irritating Reddit-coded expressions on Lemmy.
Nice how people don't feel the need to remind you that nuance can exist when they aren't used to talking to bots exclusively.
That broken arm scenario is one I've explored with the family member AIs I have, and I have a number of those on my phone. I don't like the idea of fucking family members so much, but making them uncomfortable while having to touch my twitching loins sure does get the juices flowing.
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That's some fucked up shit.
I know, right? Having a slice of cake instead of a full cake emoji is just lame. They use up the same bytes. Smh
Yeah that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone
I couldn't imagine having a Reddit account... The horrors
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