Bonus: Alex Hirsch is the creator of Gravity Falls
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this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Common W moment
NOT talking to Your Children is the EXACT Family Values JESUS teaches!
-Republicans!
Thank you for your Attention in this Matter.
Wasn't this stuff supposed to cure cancer? Instead, it's making podcasts?
is there even much money in curing cancer?
On the instant I knew this was a satire.
Then I looked who the OP was.
Fucking can't make this shit up.
This is what psychopaths think parenting is.
I mean atleast show the effort to search actual podcasts that might interest your kid rather than having chatgpt produce made-up ones. But then searching doesn't burn as many tokens and it is Sam Altman who is suggesting this lol.
Why is he so interested in having people upload schedules of what their kids are doing?
He's kind of the most evil business man ever, because:
- he believes/knows climate change to be real
- he understands that society reducing its energy consumption has the power to reduce or reverse climate change
- nonetheless, Sam Altman sells a product that does almost nothing, (certainly doesn't do what it says on the tin very well)
- and is relying on everyone massively increasing their energy consumption to power the roll-out of this.
Avoiding the obvious reference to fiddling, I think these tech companies need kids to be as reliant and addicted to their products as possible. TikTok and Youtube were the trailblazers in the electronic addiction economy.
funny thing is the techbros own kids are shielded away fromthe brainrot, they made sure they go to montiserri private school away from tech. they need future customers, not thier own kids, which would have thier own agency.
And also knowing your children's schedule is a good predictor for wealth.
Adults are stubborn and set in their ways. Kids are easier to mould to new ideas.
If they can get the kids hooked on AI tools, they'll run with it until they're old enough to be making the decisions and by then they'll want the tools they've grown up using: AI.
It's a marketing strategy, and an effective one at that.
That, and Altmans probably got a comfortable seat on the Epstein list.
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Because they want the next generations to be as completely addicted to and reliant on their product for everything as possible. And because he's rich, and has rich friends, so... you know. :/
This is what someone needs to push, you know why, I know why, now let the world know why!!
his master, anti-christ thiel demands it thats why.
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did he hear it on the podcast that he'd generated
These people are using the hallucination generator to hallucinate hallucinations that help them hallucinate more hallucinations
chatgpt solving reptilian problems that nobody has
peter thiel is anagram for reptile, and sam altman, satan's lamb.
Did chatgpt tell you those are anagrams?
peterthiel
thereptile
samaltman
satanlamm
The first kinda checks out, but the second definitely doesn't. If you interpret it as German, Satan-Lamm kinda works if you ignore the fact that it should be Satanslamm in that composition.
Le Sam Altman = Me Mall Satan
Me Mall Santa similarly works
When I first read this I didn't think anything of it cause I thought it was some rando
Now I'm realizing it's Sam Altman 😭
Imagine sitting around all day thinking of every way to stop people from thinking for themselves 🤯
When your goal is to control the masses that’s exactly what you want.
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These people really have no moat.
This is a totally shit feature but, but you could do this with Qwen3-tts.
Their moat was supposed to be overwhelming compute, which they said was a necessity to produce frontier models and that only an American monopoly could produce. Three years later it's not a monopoly but an oligopoly, the diminishing returns on compute are devastating, and China is humiliating them with models that aren't really even focused on the English language.
"super cool life hack... If your kids are disappointing because you're in constant fear of being found out to be a fraud, with your kids being walking reminders of your failed life, just stop talking to your kids. Tell my lying machine that IT is your kid now, and it won't judge you!"
Is this why there's a limited life expectancy for dynasties?
"Ha! Jokes on you as my kids won't even talk to me!", he cried into his buckwheat pillow.
I dont get it. What would th epodcat actually talk about?
That's what I was thinking about. In theory there could be a cool idea here. But using AI to do it would just give shitty results. But you could actually do a little research and find a few short articles or stories about things your kid is interested in, and then feed them into a decent TTS and edit it together like a podcast. Then where they would normally take a pause for an ad read have a little shout out wishing your kid a happy birthday or wishing them luck on their exams or competition or whatever. I think it could actually be pretty neat, and give you something to chat about while you listen, and having the little personalized messages would feel like magic to the kid, because it's kind of like getting a shout out on Radio/Television. It can be exciting and make you feel bigger than just your small social bubble. It's exciting to have a little 30 seconds of fame.
But obviously Altman is just grasping at straws to shill his product, and hasn't put this much thought into it.
Ever stumble across one of those totally AI YouTube video, with the professional sounding voice that pronounced words oddly, or emphasizes phrases in a weird way? They go on and on about some subject without really saying anything, making empty pronouncements with florid language?
Like that. The podcast equivalent of flavorless gummy bears.
Right? It's not like the kid's soccer game is part of the AI's programming, it won't know anything about it that you don't tell it. It can't go over who they're playing against, or give their record so far, or provide any other new information about it, so what exactly is it going to say?
Then the birthday will still be "coming up" every day until the day itself arrives, so what is there to say about that that would be interesting and new on a daily drive?
That just leaves "some news," at which point you might as well turn on the radio, or put on a real podcast.
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Great way to conduct a new wave of unregulated psychological experimentation to determine whether or not you can induce narcissism in a developing mind...
Especially if they don't understand what's going on. Imagine growing up thinking that your birthday or school sports game is newsworthy on a stranger's podcast. Every day all they talk about is you on the radio.
-"Little benny sat on the bench again, because he's a little looser, now over to Annies catastrophic math results."
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