5 hot showers. All at once so I'm 5x as clean
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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Suitcase bread and shower I guess
Dude, its parts dont wear out. Obviously. In this economy? Having a car that will not wear and break down is thousands saved. Plus, eliminating the anxiety of the possibility of massive unforseen repair bills.
After that... the bread I guess?
Exactly, free food literally forever!
It really depends on whether your goal is to maximize money or quality of life. I'm already able to afford my car and its maintenance. If I never have repair bills, OK, I guess in theory I retire a little bit earlier than I otherwise would? But never having to worry about parking? That's a major power up.
Although, to be fair, I wish it wasn't a suitcase and something even smaller. Something that would fit in your pocket. The problem with a suitcase is that many of the areas where you would most want to use this won't let you bring in a suitcase. Saving the walk across a giant parking lot for a big box store is of no use if the store doesn't allow you to bring in large bags or suitcases. A suitcase is just an odd thing to have in many settings.
Where it would be amazing? Domestic air travel. Fly to a different city in-country? Your vehicle's licensing and registration will still be valid, and you'll never need to pay for an airport taxi or rental car again. But something pocket sized would really let this reach its potential.
Although, especially if it's pocket-sized, we then need to get into the mechanics of it. Does it unfold at the press of a button? That sounds dangerous. You probably don't want to be too close to an unfolding car. So maybe a key fob triggers it? Does this allow me to throw my car at someone, pressing the button to unfold it mid-air?
So: the bread
Maybe? But like, I can just go to a bakery and buy a fresh loaf of bread if I want. Sure, I just said money isn't everything. But a fresh loaf of bread is a quality of life upgrade I can easily trade cash for. Bread isn't that expensive. I see the bread a lot like the zero-maintenance option. It simply replaces a thing that I can get by paying some money. Hell, if I wanted it badly enough, I'm sure I could pay someone to deliver me a fresh loaf of bread every morning. And hell, I already have the ability to have a fresh loaf of bread every morning. It's called a bread maker. They're not that expensive.
But some of these upgrades are things that money literally cannot buy. Never have to worry about the weather while driving? Infinite trunk space? Never have to worry about parking? These are superpowers that simply cannot be purchased for any amount of money.
But it's bread, dude! Bread!
I have a bread maker. I already have infinite bread!
if we all pool our upgrade we can get trains instead, and none of us has to worry about car bullshit again
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People are sleeping on the car folding into a suitcase. You would basically never need to pay for Uber, Taxis, or rent a car again. Also you never need to pay for parking, and can now easily park in places with limited parking spots.
And it's a discount hammer space option since you can fit a car’s worth of stuff in the car which is in your light suitcase. For some people that would be more useful than fitting an arbitrary amount of stuff in a car-sized space, since a car is relatively large and heavy on its own.
Bag of holding plus hover means I can just set up a big home in the trunk and it'll never have quakes or collapse. Worth the maintenance cost by not having to buy or build a house.
Breathing creatures can only survive a number of minutes equal to 10 divided by the number of creatures before they start to suffocate, so you can store stuff in it, but you can't live in the bag of holding
Slightly hovers would not be a smooth ride, in the car driving sense.
It would be like piloting a hovercraft, driving on black ice, everywhere.
You'd be playing bumper cars with everything, have little to no steering control or braking ability... you'd probably die or be maimed if you exceed ~45 mph for any reason.
Also... weather forcefield?
Depending on how you define 'weather' and 'forcefield' ... this could potentially amount to a weapon of mass destruction.
I think we can assume 'slightly hovers' means in a magical sense where it still functions and drives like a normal car.
Given almost all the rest of the upgrades are physics-defying there's no reason this one shouldn't also be.
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Parts don't wear out, and, uh, shower I guess
Edit: actually bread. Just in case the economy crashes and I'm homeless. Forever working car with forever fresh bread.
hear me out hear me out
trunk of holding
i don't need a car for getting around, but free, unlimited storrage space that i could park lets say a few meters away from my door? that sounds reallyyy usefull! could maybe even put in a ladder and furniture and hang out in it, depending on how the rules work...
... the trunk is bigger on the inside.
Trunk of holding, bread and shower.
I barely drive (work from home), would put all the extra shit in my house in trunk and drive with my kids every night for 10 mins so we all get out showers done and well free bread.
How does the shower work? Does it just magically grant you the same effects as a hot shower, or does it just literally dump a stream of hot water on your head as you drive?
Fuck Nathan Pyle, forced birthers don't deserve a platform.
need a little context here friendo
He openly stated he's anti abortion and spouted off a whole bunch of Liars For Jesus propaganda about it. That's was some time in the late teens, iirc. Facebook or Twitter, can't remember which.
good to know, thank you
it's also not true btw
his wife went to an anti abortion rally and he's supportive of his wife.
not super awesome, but a huge step down from "vehemently spouting the rhetoric"
Huh? Is he anti abortion or something?
Yeah. When his alien comics first started blowing up he made a big deal about it. Hadn't heard from him since, so I assumed he'd niued his fanbase and gone away.
I thought this too from my time on reddit but looking into it found it was nothing other than him being supportive of his wife who went to an anti abortion rally... not very cash money but I think I had an overreaction to the reality of what happened.
if there are actually tweets of him doing that id like to see them (didn't find anything of the sort when I looked like a year or two ago)
No.
There is no overreacting to toxic forced birth morons.
Just having said a polite "good morning" to a forced birther is enough to put someone on my shit list, marrying one is certainly enough to expose someone as actually agreeing with them but not wanting to say so and lose a career.
Fuck him, his wife, and anyone else who has anything to nice to say to or about those fucking psychos.
Gross.
A good (electric)-bike.
I'll take the diamond please, and limitless hot showers conveniently while I drive.
Everything except the 4k tier is useless, which makes it truly feel like it was the brainchild of a car company.
Bag of holding is also really usefull
Hovering might be good because hardly any friction and parts would last really long because no rattling
You're right. Depending on the hover it might also dramatically increase safety.
weather forcefield would be awesome in snowy climates: no clearing off the car after a snowstorm. No worrying about hail damage.
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Green lights only is OP.
Def picking 5 loaves of bread
A bike/public transit/pedestrian version of this?
I don't see any situation where I don't go with the parts never wearing out. Like, it could have stated that your parts never wore out, but you hit every red light you ever come into, and I would have still jumped on that one.
So the parts never wear out and then probably the bread one because I like bread.
You can get half of these with a good train network.
Uh, what happens if the car turns into a light suitcase while people are still inside it?
Folding into a light suitcase is 100% the best option.
That and bread; I don't want a hot shower in the car...
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