Greentext

having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn't equal not lonely, though.

There is no male loneliness epidemic; there is a loneliness epidemic. They have been talking about it since at least 2020 and it predates the pandemic. Anyone calling it a male loneliness epidemic is absolutely engagement farming. The entire manosphere is a rage-bait-engagement-farming scam.

TIL that the opposite of loneliness is having had sex

Those statistics seem to be AI hallucination.

Also, if you have one sexual intercourse encounter per year, you're not lonely? AND you could be pounding every week and still be lonely because the chemistry is not there, the love is vapid. People can just wank or pound for sexual release, but it doesn't solve loneliness. Hell, people are lonely in a household of 6 people. Why? Because everybody is doing their own thing, ambivalent of each other. Thus, they can be lonely.

Why are we conflating emotional intimacy and sex? They aren't the same thing. The fact that men are often taught that they are the same thing is part of why there is a loneliness epidemic.

As if married men or men who have had sex at least once can't be lonely. "You got your dick wet 20 years ago, what's the problem?!"

Dudes don't have friends. That's the epidemic.

There is a capitalist alienation epidemic.

You can have sex and be a totally toxic bastard that people don't want to be around once they get to know you. You could have sex frequently but still be deeply lonely.

This is actually a really fucking eye opening post, assuming they're not lying. I personally never thought there was a "virginity epidemic" among my peers, lol.

It seems like people have gotten less cliquey about virginity since then, so maybe it is a good lie?

Eh idk, my experience with the "male loneliness epidemic" is:

It's not just about "sex" (which it seems like that's all EVERYONE can focus on, so I get it,) but also about deeper meaningful connections. Personally, I have a few FWB, I want to fall in love with someone again, though, tbf, the part of me that had the ability to do that could also be dead, kinda hard to tell tbh.

It's also about (again, for me) the fact that increasingly it seems that the ONLY places acceptable to meet a woman you have not yet talked to are:

A) Online dating services that sell your data, are designed not to give good matches because they want you to stay on the app, and charge a fee for the apps to even be useful, and they're all owned by one company.

B) The bar. That's it.

Well, as for A, I value my privacy, and don't enjoy paying money to have horrible experiences. I run GrapheneOS idek if tindr would run. I don't even have social media, I can't stand writing my own bio and don't take selfies, it's not a good option for anyone but doubly so for me. Also I'm not Tom Cruise (or whoever you're horny for just sub them in) level attractive and as such I have to rely on my personality, which isn't really text and picture based. As for B, I do still drink but not like I used to, and even if I did I can't afford to go out as much as I used to in this fucked economy, and tbh meeting drunk women doesn't seem like a good idea anymore, feels like it opens me up to problems I don't fucking need tbh.

So where does that leave me? Well, common advice is to:

"Have your friends set you up with someone." Ok great. None of them have any single friends, at least none that have expressed interest in being set up with me, or that I am interested in myself. So, either "pray," or I could actively make new friends just for the express purpose of finding out if they have hot friends that want me, if not, move to the next friend I can find and try again? Sounds like a bad plan to me. I don't have the social battery for all that honestly.

"Go to the gym," you mean the place women complain about being hit on the most? Sure, that'll help, "idfk how to use this giant machine and I know you just watched me look like a giant idiot, and I know you hate being asked here, but I saw you from across the yoga mat and thought you had a cool vibe, wanna go out some time?" That's setting yourself up for success right there lol.

"Find a hobby," yes because when I'm not at work or sleeping I simply stand and stare at a wall. OF COURSE I have hobbies, but not only do "women want to enjoy their hobbies without being approached" also my hobby is hiking local trails and taking pics of (mundane to you but to me,) neat animals like salamanders and snakes. Idk if you guys are aware of this, but women would rather meet a literal bear in the woods than a nerd with a camera, I used to talk to people on the trails but now I just give them a wide berth (unless they're dudes, dudes are chill). Also like the library, but I'm the only one under 70 (well, and above 18, lots of parents with kids but that doesn't help me lol), other than the cute librarian I have a crush on (but you're not supposed to ask them out while they're working either, and also if she says no it'll now be awkward every time I go cause I'll feel like a creep, so she'll never know).

The real solutions seem to be we need a third place that is acceptable to meet someone and ask them out politely and take no for an answer, or women would need to start asking men they like if it's unacceptable the other way around, or I need to become gay because as I said earlier guys are chill, you can talk to them anywhere. Unfortunately we're actively killing third places and the ones still alive women complain about being approached, women so rarely ask a guy out and I don't think it's becoming more common, and afaik I was born unlucky on the gayness.

And I mean, am I "lonely?" Idk. I have friends, FWBs, kitties, I've had abusive relationships worse than loneliness, so "no" I guess, but also yes insofar as "I haven't felt real love in about 15 years and it'd be pretty cool to feel that for someone again," and I'll guaranteed never find it if I don't start doing the secret solution: Just say fuck it, fuck you, and fuck what is socially acceptable, just start asking out ANY woman I see/like ANYWHERE, politely and take no for an answer of course, but anywhere. At my job, at her job, at the gym, in Aisle 10, on the trails, fuck it. If I don't it seems my only option is to pray to a god I've never believed in that a lady falls in front of me like goddamn Rufus in Dogma and she happens to like me, and I happen to like her lmao.

Sex, relationships, and loneliness are all distinct domains. There's important overlap to be sure. But they are not the same things. You can be a casanova and still be lonely. You can be stuck in a bad marriage and feel very lonely indeed.

I think a lot of modern people (regardless of gender identity) have problems making and keeping friends, too. Long-term friendships take work, sacrifice, and compromise. It's not just compatible interests and personalities.

Women are about as lonely as men.

The problem is that they’re human and exist in an anti-human environment.

You know who else are lonely? Animals in zoos.

Be 2025

...years old?! Not happenin bud

If you listen to today’s 4chan, you’re an idiot.

Wow, statistics sure do a great job of revealing numbers!

First of all: that is not how it works

Second of all: the loneliness epidemic is not just happening to men, it is happening to everybody.

Third of all: loneliness can happen to anyone, even people who appear to have it all. It is not just the extreme stereotype of the hermit who barely speaks to a living soul for two years, that is valid in feeling lonely. Sometimes it's the people who seem to have a big network of friends who are the loneliest because all their friendships are superficial and the person may struggle to commit to others and be vulnerable. Other people become distractions from a deep hurt and selfloathing, they don't know how to address. No one is ever let in because it's too scary and risky to show weakness. But you have 50 friends and is everybody's pal, so you can't be lonely, right?

And then there's the more mundane type of loneliness, that happens to a lot of people in the first world when they enter the workforce and/or start a family. It can become terribly lonely when you don't have the time and energy to nurture friendships and community because you work all the time and in the current day and age, social activity takes place on screens. People hang out on social media where they share pics and political views instead of meeting up for a beer or a lemonade to chat like our parents' generations did.

I have seen countless posts from 30somethings over the past decade, who ask about how to make friends at their age because they feel so lonely and all their old friends live far away. These are men and women. Some of them are parents of newborns others are single career people who have been grinding and suddenly realized they have neglected their social life.

Everybody is lonely in this day and age. I have felt lonely for years because i had to grind at work and didnt have time for recrrational activities. I have plenty of friends, good family and a lovely boyfriend and I was still lonely because I had to work all the time. Doesn't help that all my friends and family live far away so most of our interactions are on screens and not in the flesh. And if there is anything I think the modern first world human being is undervaluing and neglecting, it's physical closeness and irl community. The screens have replaced that despite being the shittiest substitute for physical touch imaginable.

To me, there is nothing that can calm every cell in my body like a hug from someone i love and whom I know loves me back. It is irreplacable.

I thought "male lonileness epidemic" meant how fucking hard it's to make friends as a guy/boymoder.

It takes extreme luck to join a friend group, and as soon as people get comfortable they start ranting about gay people or such.

A loneliness epidemic is literally the most obvious effect of capitalism/consumerism/individualism I would expect. But very few of the 'male loneliness epidemic' clan has anything to say about capitalism being the problem.

how do these numbers work? do they just ask and hope everyone tells the truth?

Me in the >10% category.

There is a lot of solid scholarship questioning the label "male loneliness epidemic," but not because scholars are stupid enough to equate having sex with an absence of loneliness.

what these statistics hide is that they dont examine QUALITY OF LIFE , NUMBERR OF RELATIONSHIPS, TYPES OOF RELATIONSHIPS, and THE INSANE RATES OF DEATHS OF DESPAIR AMONGSTT MIDDLE AGED AND SENIOR MEN

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10721027/ for this study of Korean middle aged men and women it was found thatt those who met more often wiith theiir friends had higher reported levels of life satisfation . YES for men AND women (and ya ya those who reported being married ALSO had higher reportrd levels of life satisfaction too BUT it sshould be noted that wifdowed people reported even higher levels of life satisfaction than all other adults who were included in the study and currently lived alone)

About 70-80% of all deaths worldwide from 'Deaths Of Despair' (so that includes deatha from eatting a terrible diet without exercising and dying from a cardiovascular disease, deaths from drunk driving, deaths from deliberate suicide , deaths frrom accidental drug overdoses, deaths from alcohol poisoning, deaths from fatty liver diseases ) were deaths of men per a year since we've started measurinng it. And very much middle aged men.

Also havent some studies come out showing that people have reported having less friends or rsther less people that they talk to and confide in per a weeek or even per a month than ever before?

Your spouse is supposed to be one of your friends , ya I gett that. But if you rely on only your spouse as your only friend ? Youre gonna get into A LOOOT of trouble if they eventually divorce from you.