this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

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-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] Chivera@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

fidget spinner

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 48 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Man here: there's a reason. There is a reason.

[–] Paddzr@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Two actually!

[–] HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Sometimes you gotta adjust. Only women with big roasties will understand.

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[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If you have to ask that question, you ain't got one. And if you don't know why I'm sitting exactly like that right now, you ain't never gonna understand.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah that "no reason" is a pretty serious misunderstanding.

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Tape your buttcheeks together for a couple hours. That's a decent approximation of the nutsack environment.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 28 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Nobody's going to ask for the sauce?

[–] janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

VERY NSFW ONLYFANS LINK you have outed me as one who looks at naked women on the internet, here ya go: https://onlyfans.com/zoealoneathomeofficial/c27

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

sigh you just reminded me of Patrick Stewart :(

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[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I've heard a story about someone who lost his penis. Its worth double checking its its still there from time to time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp392Nk_2vw

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[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I had sciatica that seems to be progressing into cauda equina...basically now my buttocks, perineum, inner thigh, cock, asshole, and balls are all numb.

So yeah, I am checking to make sure it's still there.

And also farts feel fucking weird.

[–] YeahToast@aussie.zone 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ahhhh.. im presuming you're aware that's generally classified a medical emergency

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah.

My Ortho doesn't seem to think so or maybe I'd get a fucking phone call back instead of me having to call his office twice a goddamn day and play phone tag with his receptionist.

I called on Wednesday. He ordered an MRI ~~yesterday~~ that day and now it's caught in hospital red tape.

Had I gone into the ER I'd have some answers and a huge bill by now.

I'm half guessing I'll get a call on Monday saying I should've gone to the ER on Wednesday, but that's why I fucking called in the first place.

Edit: I called my ortho's office/on-call and got through to him...he agrees that it's worrisome but likely not an emergency unless also met with incontinence. He is rushing my MRI order and getting me started on a steroid.

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[–] bus_factor@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (6 children)

I can't speak for people suffering from genital mutilation, but a flaccid penis with a foreskin is like a little stress relief fidget toy. You can squish it around a little, even through clothing. This does not feel sexual at all if you're not already aroused. I've seen threads online where women claim they do the equivalent in private by idly squeezing their own breasts.

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

I’ll pipe in for those of us without foreskin, still effective at relieving stress and creating comfort

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[–] DonkeyStar@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Those pants look like they’d be super comfy for exactly one wash.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Duh it's a hand warmer. Men are just to stubborn to admit when they are cold.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

UberEats guy delivered some food yesterday. Walked up the driveway, bag in one hand, the other one scratching his nethers. Not a good look.

[–] Sasquatch@lemmy.ml 29 points 6 days ago (2 children)

bag in one hand, sack in the other

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[–] TheOrangeBytes@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (4 children)
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[–] lordziv@lemmy.nz 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Can I pls get the meme template without text if someone has it?

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[–] OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

Built in toy.

I mean you don't put our hand just into your waist band to ease chafing at the belt line?

[–] Darkonion@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

I think that behavior is just the crowd following itself. You know you are 'of the crowd' because you do it too.

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