I've been waiting since I was like 12 to tell that story to someone who would get it, and when I read your comment, I thought "Finally today's the day!"
No way! It's always great to meet another Matt. Hey Matt!
CoolMatt
joined 1 year ago
That is really fucking cool
Dude i kept having fucmin dreams where i kept getting shot and my red health and blue armour would appear in my vision, and go down. Then I'd try to look at my watch to quit to menu, but it would be blown up just sitting there on my wrist blackened and falling apart so I had ti ride it out and die.
It would be me on the ground and then the grenade landing in front if my face and then going BANG that woke me up and got me out of there
Why would you shove a toothpick under your toenail and kick the wall as hard as you can if you're a goddamn pussy
Interesting, never knew.
Here's another one some people have never realized. Literally is not the same word as literately
Why does someone who doesn't have access to my apartment building mailbox come drop amazon packages in the lobby, instead of a canada post worker who can leave it in a drop box in the mail room and put the key in my mailbox?
As a man with a rats nest of an ass, I will mever buy cheap toilet paper again.
Sure, and same if you say it to someone too
2k24 is the same number of key presses as 2024
As a Canadian, what the hell is an Irving?
I sit to pee because my dick is pierced so now I have two pee holes. If i have nothing in, I can plug the hole and stand. Besides that, sometimes I'm not in the mood to stand, sometimes I'm not in the mood to undo my pants and take them down.
-I spend 15 minutes every morning shitting and pissing and then shitting some more, so I stay seated for the entire feature presentation. -I'm groggy every fucjin morning -it's a little dirty and hairy, I try to clean once a week but my back hurts so sometimes I'm just like fuuuuuuuuck that. Sometimes I find piss stains on the underside of the toilet seat and wonder how that got there while I clean it