FoxyFerengi

I served during a war, but I'm not a combat veteran.

I think putting the focus on being a combat veteran to "earn" disability benefits is unfortunate, because there are things that can disable you even if you aren't at war. I know a lot of people who have broken their backs during routine maintenance, some who lost hearing to insufficient hearing protection on a flight line, a few who lost limbs to snapping arresting wires, some who have had debilitating reproductive cancer at very young ages because of the chemicals we were exposed to.

But I know far more veterans who are like me and weren't kept safe from their fellow soldiers/airmen/shipmates. I don't know if it's different now, but it was really common to just admin separate people who suffered what I did and not provide medical care. My command went so far as to tell me I was not a veteran and not to seek medical care or benefits when they gave me my discharge paperwork. They said that with straight faces, looking at me with my broken face and skull, bruised and sliced body, and barely able to stay awake because my brain was damaged.

Over 10% of female veterans have experienced what I did, 40% have experienced harassment, and about 5% of men also have the same kind of PTSD that comes from sexual trauma. Regardless of combat deployment status. That really points to an institutional problem with the military. So please, point at the commands when you want to take money away, instead of the people who are using the socialized Healthcare we signed contracts for in event of disability during service

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invisible_War

I loved when they got tired of putting the eye candy in those scenes and started throwing in random characters like Porthos.

Americans for spending so much on wars and veteran benefits that are abused at historic levels as social media taught people how to get to or near 100% disability ratings and lawyers specialized in getting high disability ratings for their clients

This is the first I'm hearing of that. Though I admit I don't use sm. I was given 100% for PTSD after going through an extremely stressful evaluation where the examiner deliberately triggered me several times. I say deliberate, but it was very subtle, if someone was faking it they wouldn't have noticed or even reacted.

On the flip side, I have a friend who is missing 10% of his brain to an IED, can't hear for shit, and can't walk very far because the part of his brain that is missing controls autonomous breathing - he has to think about it or he doesn't breathe. He was only given 30% and he honestly doesn't have the resources or mental fortitude to keep trying to get the VA to take care of him.

When I was going through the diagnostic process, my therapist kept telling me "we don't want to change people's way of thinking for being autistic, that's no-win scenario". You could force yourself to eat everything someone throws at you, but what's the cost? You'll remember and feel that forever, and they'll expect you to be cured.

Be kind to yourself, the way you eat doesn't need to change if you aren't experiencing health problems. You are already eating normally even if that normal isn't part of your families normal

I changed my name a few years ago and totally missed out on meme potential 😭

I think you have different needs than your family does, and it's most apparent to them when it comes to food. Some people show their love by sharing food, and this is also very common in a lot of cultures. If I turn down food at one friend's house they get extremely hurt, like it's personal, when it's nothing to do with them. With these people I give a specific list, with brands, and tell them that more than anything I'll be happy with water and a fresh orange to squeeze into it. (partly because oranges are easy to have on hand, and partly because people get so excited when they find me an amazing bunch of oranges xD)

My brother and I were born with different genetic mutations, but his affected his eating and that's what my parents noticed first. He would be diagnosed with ARFID now, but at the time they just thought he was picky. Turns out he physically couldn't eat the same way. But once my family thought they had it figured out, they berated him for never putting weight on (like my fat ass did). The reason I'm sharing the story is that he never developed that food-is-comfort thing that other people do. He needs food that is safe to eat, that he can actually chew and swallow, and sate hishunger with.

I don't know if you like chicken strips, but that's usually considered a bland, ergo "safe" to the NT mind, type of food. There is little risk in that food to them. I have friends who can't handle any pepper, and straight up refuse to eat certain brands of chicken strips. I can't stand the texture or the risk of that rare bit of gristle. People who don't understand it and don't try, won't. And I think that might be where a lot of your frustration is coming from. They aren't really trying to understand your needs

So besides a very specific list of foods to help your family support your needs, I would ask if there's anything that isn't food related that your family likes to do? Board games? Planning trips? Most people connect over food and it helps to have an alternative connection activity when eating the way you and your family want is stressful and frustrating for everyone

Dirt is really expensive if you're unemployed. Some herbs and veg are quite happily grown kratky style, but that also comes with its own challenges

My conspiracy theory is that they've fired all the people who monitored and screened communication/social media and replaced them with AI. The problem is violent threats and comments are so common in what it was trained on that the AI doesn't know when there's a problem

Okay I actually looked into it and it seems senior horses need much more than 3500calories per pound of gained weight, and you're looking at roughly 55 days before winter truly sets in (in my area and ignoring snow days/weeks). So she'd need just under 5.5pounds/day gained and I don't think you'll get there lol.

She's in good hands though! She'll definitely survive this winter with you keeping an eye over her :)