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You just want a desktop version of the apps you already have? Have you tried VLC?

Lol then why are you even bothering with Kodi?

The main alternatives to Kodi are Jellyfin and Plex but I suspect those will have the same problem if your library isn't organized. How well are NOVA and Infuse handling your library? Like are they able to tell queue up the next episode of a TV show? Because Kodi is basically trying to be more like a local Netflix than "just a video player".

Jellyfin and Plex are web-based so you'll get a a far more consistent experience across devices than Kodi. But they'll generally expect Movies to be in one folder, TV shows in another, and will have some expectations of the file name. They won't open the file to figure out what movie it is.

If python is too big for you and you're dealing with heterogeneous systems then you're probably stuck with sh as the lowest common denominator between those systems. I'm not aware of any scripting languages that are so portable you can simply install them with one file over scp.

Alternate route is to abandon a scripting interpreter completely and compile a static binary in something like Go and deploy the binary.

There was also some "compile to bash" programming languages that I've sneered at because I couldn't think of a use case but this might be one.

Elixir checks most of those boxes. If you want a good functional scriptibg language, Elixir soynds like the go to. Some lisp language like guile should also be sufficient, and probably have a lighter footprint.

This requirement stands out though:

has a simple/straightforward setup (ideally, it should be a single executable that I can just copy to a remote system, use to run a script and then delete)

Thats basically what ansible does. If you plan on doing this to multiple machines you should just use ansible. Also how do you plan on ensuring the scripting interpreter is installed on the machines?

If those aren't burned I to the video, ie you can turn them off, then they must be some magical subtitle format that I'm not aware of.

More or less. Think of it like screen recording the YouTube video as its playing with the subtitles instead of downloading the video.

Two ideas:

1. Get the subtitles burned into the video. Hopefully this will preserve the styling but you'll loose the ability to disable or control the subtitles after the fact.
2. Download the subtitles as a separate file and configure them to be displayed the same way after the fact. This means figuring out their colors yourself etc. Hopefully you can save those defaults to subtitle file, depending on the format. Most subtitle formats are plain text, so there might just be some metadata field you enter at the top.

All just speculation though. I don't actually know subtitle file formats etc.

Yeah I only suggested obsidian because its so popular and is completely out-of-the-box.

If you want everything exactly as you want it you'll need to spend time coding it all yourself. Otherwise you're shopping around for different tools for specific things. Some editor plugin for notes. Another for tasks. Another for reminders etc.

My issue with task warrior was its syncing service taskd. It required that you generate a self signed ssl certificate. You couldn't host it behind caddy. But all the issues listed I'm pretty sure it covers. Its extremely robust.

Is there a reason you're not looking at tools explicitly built for this like orgmode, obsidian, task-warrior, etc? There's a plethora of these tools and my experience with this is you really don't want to over-engineer your productivity suite.

That said, if you go the SQL route, sqlite is the way to go. Other SQL databases must be run as a daemon whereas sqlite operates on a local file directly.

However any SQL database isnt going to have the CLI youre asking for. Its interface is... SQL, so you're scripts are going to have a bunch of SQL code embedded that isnt easily reusable. A non-sql database will probably be better. I'm not familiar with them but I think there's some that store their data as text files in a folder which is organized a certain way. But that starts looking like the tools I mentioned before.

1. What kind of block is it? If its a cloudflare captcha you can use flaresolverr.
2. What is MAM?

For some reason you're trying to install it as a system service so I suspect you need to start it with sudo and probably do the daemon reload with sudo. Not entirely sure its in the right folder but it might be fine.
You can also try systemctl list-unit as a way to debug if its getting found by systemd.

Fwiw I have spotifyd installed as a user service in ~/.config/systemd/user that way I can start and stop it with systemctl --user instead of sudo systemctl. This is important because spotifyd will disconnect and need to be restarted after inactivity.