this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2025
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Asklemmy

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I'm currently funded by IKEA and looking to get a raise; my LinkedIn antifa group says it'd help if I had a competitive offer.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago

bruh! you get funding?!

[–] Fu@hostux.social 1 points 1 day ago

@bruhbeans somebody let me know, stat!

[–] g8phcon2@k.fe.derate.me 1 points 1 day ago

@bruhbeans@lemmy.ml lol

I'm selling patch space on a nascar style battle jacket.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 70 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I'm sponsored by Big Gay to promote liking cocks. They have a good health plan which includes free prostate exams. The PTO is a bit underwhelming tho; they really expect you to push cockliking 24/7, 365. It's hard

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 37 points 4 days ago

It's hard

Sounds like you're doing a good job though. They're lucky to have a hard representative like you.

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Ahh the Cocklikingβ„’ is as hard as it gets

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemmy.today 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait, you all get paid?!

My recruiter told me this was entirely a volunteer position.

[–] that_one_guy@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thought we were doing it for the love of the game honestly.

[–] tlmcleod@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago

I like games. But I like money too.

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

I'm funded my Big Small that is trying to sell more less

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

The Shadow Wizard Money Gang

[–] Casuallynoted@pawb.social 3 points 2 days ago

The Erotic Bakery

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

I am funded by Antifa LLC and The Trans Agenda Corp.

[–] GammaGames@beehaw.org 24 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The sorosbucks seem to be drying up lately. All these abortions aren’t going to pay for themselves, I might have to go paint a few crosswalks with rainbows to make up the difference

[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Currently trying to get funded by the shadow furry communist catgirl government

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

Is that that Anonymous hacker I keep hearing about?

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[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 21 points 4 days ago

Ben & Jerries. I'm not a real believer though, I'm only in it for the compensation in product. Tubs and tubs of ice cream.

[–] Deme@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Currently I get my salary indirectly from the International Practical Chemtrail Cabal (IPCC), with the social media PR side more as a side hustle.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm being funded by penguins. I don't know why, I don't even like mackerel that much but these fuckers swam from Antarctica, up the Mississippi, up a few tributaries, to deliver more fish than I know what to do with. So I can't tell them to fuck off and that I already am on their side. That'd just be mean. So anyways, anybody want some fish?

[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Thank the aquatic birds.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

The GNU/Linux corp.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I work in the warehouse for Antifa Co. Hillary Clinton and Obama sign my checks!

[–] bruhbeans@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 days ago

Thanks Obama!

[–] copandballtorture@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm paid by isntrael to post inflammatory shit to make leftists look bad, but everyone here loves what I have to say

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[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 4 days ago

I'm currently freelance antifa, the gig work pays better

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm actually funding the shadowy leftwing cabal unfortunately. Would be nice if it went the other way but alas

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[–] Pieplup@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 4 days ago (5 children)

The penguin communist party.

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[–] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

The support of viewers like you

[–] Damarus@feddit.org 4 points 3 days ago

I thought we shouldn't tell anyone!?

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’m funded by Big Small, the lobbying group for those people who sell hand made crafts on the sidewalk.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

A lefty grubby commie mom and pop global big box store. Its all very socialist.

[–] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[–] Rom@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

The USSR shadow government. The collapse of the USSR was a false flag and the real USSR has been in charge behind the scenes the whole time.

[–] bubbalu@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

MY small housing org mostly has bake sales at art markets and makes bottom-speak eyes when we explain our work in hopes of an added donation.

[–] GuyFawkes@midwest.social 5 points 3 days ago

I missed cabal sign up day so I’m waiting for Soros to give me my orders.

I'm currently crowd funded, but I've been thinking about seeing if Blue Cross Blue Shield wants to fund me

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Big Gay Tech

[–] m532@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 3 days ago

The adrestian empire

[–] Zeusz13@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

According to my government I'm the lackey of Soros, getting paid to make our kids gay and bring migrants into the country. It honestly starts to sound like a good deal, especially when I look at the paycheck I get at CPS

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

china and russia, of course.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago

Formerly funded by the biggest socialist organization in the USA. They owe me money (whenever the current pissing match ends) and i kinda need it.

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