To: congress@america.gov
From: fartographer@lemmy.world
Subject: SELL YOUR PLATFORM TO ME
Body: I've got $10K for the first person willing to accept and adopt my ideas.
Sincerely,
Poor Daddy
fartographer
joined 1 day ago
How dare you make me scroll down an inch! I'm putting on my pro-bewbage anti-cleavage dress right now so that you'll know just how upset I am!
They should test it out on each other to find out who's right. Loser wins.
The one where they haven't invented the warp drive yet and that farmer from Babe is a drunk? Some aliens better find Voyager soon because we're about to boil all the whales.
My results were so good, I even listed some things they didn't tell me about
Didn't we recently find out from some leaks or disclosures that you can essentially buy some politicians for as low as $10K? I can't remember the source right now
It's a sleeping bag zipped up over their head, isn't it?
Calling it right now: Mamdani's primaries win made this a priority and they wanna try to pressure him into stepping down, or just revoke his citizenship.
Any other citizens they hurt along the way are just little treats they give themselves for being such good little boys and ~~girls~~non-boys. ^(Gotta protect that research funding)^
Freedom costs a buck oh five
Fuuuuuck... I don't know how things work there, but in this part of ~~these~~Texas, you can call the city and they'll do a survey to find out if a sidewalk could be installed. If that doesn't work, you can write to your city council.
I hope this gets remedied for you.
Edit: Corrected insanely stupid typo. Don't drowsy browsy the internet, kids.
Turns out the future we were promised is more of a genetic opera with three seashells, and less of a Gun Kata multipass. We always knew there'd be some Idiocracy mixed in there, but that's apparently the main ingredient in this shit-pie we're cooking up.
If we can even manage to make it to the level of society in Wall-E, I'd consider it a success at this point. At least they seemed to be more concerned with comfort and contentment than killing each other.
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He's so full of shit