peoplebeproblems

Oh. Well I'm not gonna be out that long.

I hope.

Uhoh. It really depends on how well I do and it is not well so far.

That's a good point, but humans are basically stupid animals.

You can predict them to do something unpredictable

Man quetiapine just made me panic and feel like I couldn't breathe. Actually there are a shit ton of "sedating" medications that do that to me thinking about it.

Except of course benzos, but thanks to those being cross tolerant with z drugs, they really gotta pump those in me to work at all.

I've had a little success with clonodine.

I remember abilify completely shut off my ability to think. Still had emotions, just no reasoning.

People talk about Dating being this thing that's easy to do. Yeah. Maybe if you had any choice over what was and wasn't difficult.

Im thinking about walking into therapy tomorrow and just asking "do I have to work if I'm just gonna be miserable anyway?"

I'm doing some particularly frequent therapy at the moment. Medication management, occupational stuff.

So far I've only met one person on the apps. So I'm working on finding stuff to go to to meet more people. It's a small city, so kind of limited. Can't move because of a kid. That makes it way harder to date too.

But one thing I'm trying to remind myself - I'll be in my 40s when my son is 18. I figure I can probably really safely leave him at home way before that. So maybe in 5 years or so. I had a teacher in his 50's marry another teacher in her late 20s (and they are still together 15 years later) so I'd say there's still time.

Thank you. Knowing that others have recovered gives me some hope.

I guess I can't stand briefs because I need the extra room. So when I cross my legs, junk just falls as it should and no squish.

Plus if I do the ankle cross my foot always falls asleep. That's typically a better way to make a fool of myself.

:)

And the kind of resistance they expect is still possible.

But you will never hear about it from a story. If you do, it's probably false.

If they do, they were always going to flip. They just needed a better pocket lining.

Wait

I'm abnormally sensitive about rejection because of my AuADHD?

What the flipping fuck. Fuck this shit. What drugs just turn off my brain so I can just be a blob of flesh until I die of old age since they don't like how often I complain about existence being so goddamn difficult.

Hmm. Uhoh.

I'm out on FMLA. Am I even going to have a job when I get back?

What the flip

Oh well just another thing that masculinity is wrong about.

Hungry people can't think. Hungry people can't fight. Hungry people eventually stop being a barrier to power.

Same with the sick.

They really don't have an end goal beyond that. They want to take what they please, and enjoy killing some people in the process.