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The CW folks would presumably be sending QTH instead

I wonder if this graph captures that/if it would make an appreciable difference?

I just wish they made toddler clothes in my size.

So the irony is

I see what you did there...

Do you still start in 1st? Do you skip gears?

Left pedal looks more like a dead pedal to me.

And as others have said, change in direction is still acceleration. That's part of Newton's (apocryphal?) apple story

he witnessed an apple falling, and wondered why the moon doesn't also fall. His amazing insight is that it does fall (accelerate), it's just that it falls in such a way that it orbits, rather than hits, the Earth (for timescales relevant to a human).

"Can you hold it" was meant as "abstain from pooping for just a little longer," but was instead interpreted as, "poop, and then hold the poop in your hands."

I think you mean more scrupulous, not less.

I grew up with a hand-cranked popcorn maker. Then, in grad school, I realized that you don't actually need any of that, just a pot with oil.

I heat up (medium) a tiny bit of neutral oil with a few kernels until they pop. Then I add ~1/4C neutral oil and ~1/3C popcorn kernels. When I can count to ten between pops I turn it off, empty in bowl, drizzle with olive oil and add salt and nutritional yeast (and MSG if you have it).

If you lose power, you can use one of these cables to power your house (or at least, the part of your house on that phase).

This is not how you should do this, but it can work. It is not a good idea (possibly illegal?).

Hopefully you can publish in an open-access journal

if not it would be great if you could share an arXiv preprint :)

You said that no one...

I don't think that was the parent commenter though...

You experience the passage of time as ever increasing in speed, and before long the universe has died, leaving you

immortal and sentient

alone in the cold, dead cosmos, for eternity.