Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
Goodness, I feel like most of these comments just expose how selfish people are. I feel for you and empathize with your situation. It's not simply a matter of learning how to say no or creating boundaries because your dynamic with your in-laws is probably more complex and nuanced.
I don't have a perfect solution for you. Maybe something to help frame it is - would they do the same for you? Can you count on them for favors? Is keeping a tight relationship with them valuable to you?
For me, my answers to these questions is yes. So to answer your original question, yes I am annoyed. But I've come to embrace it, as much as I can.
If it's completely burning you out, then I think you can maybe pull back on the level of detail and attention you might give to paying clients? I'm willing to bet 50% effort is still going to be impressive.